It was so hard

Copyright Dawn

It started when I was about in 7th grade. My friends had the same problem as I did and we didn’t know how to fix it. So I just gave up with them because they were not trying to get help. My mom did not find out about this until I was in 8th grade. I had to come out. I had people at school talking bout me and I just couldn’t take it. So I told the school and they called my mom. I didn’t know that it was this bad. That I was tryin to kill myself but my brain didn’t know it. Every night I would cut a line or maybe even thirty, I don’t know. I ran out of room on both my arms and went to my legs it was so hard. My life is so much harder that I do it. Sometimes I just do it for fun. But anyway, I just want to say to the girls and guys who do and say stop it, is hard I know, but making your life like this isn’t going to work. One day you are going to have kids and they will ask what is that mommy/daddy and you would have to lie.


Copyright, Dawn

My name is Dawn and I am fourteen years old. I have been cutting for around a year but my parents, friends and teachers have just found out. I cut because I am angry with my parents and annoyed at all the bullies at school. People find it disgusting that I selfharm. I am not disgusting. I feel that this is the only way that I can cope without going insane. I also feel that I have to stop but this is very hard. I recently stopped for several weeks but my boyfriend found out what I had been doing so dumped me, and it has all started again. I don’t want to go to see a counsellor because I think they will make fun of me. If you would like to e-mail me, it would be nice to talk to people like me. Take care of yourself.

Update: I thought I would tell you what’s been going on in my life recently. Well I have been back in school after the six weeks holiday for three weeks and am getting really stressed out because I am getting loads and loads of coursework. During the holiday I managed to go nearly the whole six weeks before cutting and if I forget the tiny little cut I did at the end of the holidays it was a total of nine weeks that I didn’t cut for. But that has all changed I have started again, I feel like my life is shit and that nothing can be done for it. About two weeks ago my mum took me to see someone she said I had to go because the school had advised it and she had to go ahead with what school says to do. When I was there I actually found out that my mum had found my suicide notes and when we were on holiday she was woried about me (for once). I told this woman when I did the letters which was a lie because my mum was there and I didn’t want her to know when I actually wrote them. But she realised because I wrote what clothes I wanted to wear at my funeral and she confronted me later that day. My mum had learnt to trust me but now she won’t leave me alone because she thinks I will do it again and she thinks I am going to kill myself. I have now started burning my self because it takes more of the pain away and it is more painfull so I like it better. That’s why I do so much ironing so that I can get at the iron because I find it the easiest way to do it. Well hopefully I’ll stop one day but I don’t think I will and my mates don’t help they still think I’m wierd, but there is one good thing I have managed to get a teacher to talk to and she really helps me and I also get to miss some lessons as well so that is even better.


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