Copyright Paige

I heard stories about people injuring themselves on purpose because their lives were not the greatest. I always thought ‘That will never be me. My life is great!’ But later in my life, I found out that I had lied. Things were getting confusing. My grades were dropping, my friends were not including me, and my parents and I got into many fights. I had to escape. I felt like my parents hated me, and I needed to teach myself not to make them mad. So, I found my scissors and cut my arms right above the elbow. Then two weeks later, my life was getting worse. I cut myself below the elbow. I kept getting closer and closer to my hand each time. I got addicted. I still haven’t stopped, but I don’t want anyone to choose this. I feel like I need to go to a therapist, but I’m afraid to ask my parents. They don’t know about the cutting. I don’t want anyone to choose the path that I’ve walked down, because it’s not good. Not good at all.

My parents also think that only older teens do this self-abuse. I’m thirteen. It’s painful, and sometimes my wrists get numb. But, I’m addicted. I feel like I can’t stop.

What It’s Like

Copyright, Paige

One day, everything was just too much, took a pencil and started carving into my arm. Friends saw and took the pencil away, that didn’t stop me though, found a safety pin and took that to my arm, to document the occasion, I took a picture. Ever since that day, I would venture to say about three years ago, I’ve turned to cutting when I can’t deal with something. Friends always say, call me and talk, it’s not that simple, you get in this trance that you can’t get out of till you see it, or feel it. Feel the pain, see the blood, and for a while everything seems better. I know my cutting worries friends, but sometimes I honestly just don’t give a shit, I honestly just want to say fuck you and I’m doing what I want. They just don’t know the feeling you get, the way it feels, almost like you have something sitting in your chest that won’t go away till, you see or feel it. It’s the worst thing yet sometimes the best, cutting brings me back to reality sometimes, other times it gets me in a shit load of trouble, I’ve said I’ll stop, I’ve tried to stop, I really just don’t think there is an end though, I don’t believe it will ever end.

My Life

Copyright, Paige

I’ve been cutting for about a year now I would say. I do it off and on when things don’t go right. My ex boyfriend used to hate it and well I tried to cut in secret. I’ve cut many places. Mostly my left arm. I don’t even remember how it started. I believe some people got mad at me for some stupid reason and I was so pissed off I didn’t know what to do. My friend had a mechanical pencil that was broken at the end so I took it and started dragging it along my skin. Then later I used a safety pin. Gradually I started using razor blades. And I’ve used a knife before. I know it worries my friends but… I seem to be the only one at my school that does it. I know of one other girl but all people do is make fun of her so I keep to myself about it mostly. I write poems sometimes too. They are usually about cutting or about suicide. I’ll probably post some on here sometime. Well that’s about my story. Well, all the I really feel comfortable sharing right now.


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