I feel so alone right now. I’m almost 16, and I’ve been struggling with SI for more than a year now, and only one person knows. I’ve told about four others but I have been able to make them think that I am no longer struggling. I’ve become so addicted to this that I cut even when I’m in a good mood. My parents pretty much think that I’m a joke, and I’m getting so fed up with my family that I just want to run away. I’ve moved eleven times, and we’re moving again in a few months. I don’t know how to handle this. I’ve tried to kill myself four times this year, and I’ve been overdosing on pain medication hoping that soon I’ll just fade away. I hate our church, and I believe in God except that now he just seems so far away. I’ve tried feeling like I’m in control by throwing up my food, or giving it up, only that didn’t satisfy me at all. I went to a christian camp where I was sexually harassed, and I really don’t want to have anything to do with God ever again. I mean, I know a lot of so called christians that smoke, and so what’s wrong with what I’m doing? It’s no different.
Well, if anyone feels like emailing me, please go ahead. It’s always nice to talk to someone who is going through the same thing or knows how I feel.