Best Side of Me

My Pain

Copyright Best Side of Me

I am a thirteen year old kid that has been cutting, well all my life. I started off pulling my hair when I didn’t get my way, that was when I was around three. I started digging my nails into me when I was angry, that was when I was six. Then I started burning myself when I was around eight. After a few years of burning I found out about SI’ing. I found out that I wasn’t the only kid that was doing this. I found a sense of happiness, but that didn’t last long. I realised that there are many more out there who take out their pain on themselves. At the age of twelve, I lost my best friends, my baby brother died and my mom and dad were arguing. That’s when I started putting knifes to my skin. I had only used knifes for the longest time. Then I started using razors. I shoved the razors in my skin as deep as I could. When I was at a sleep away camp I had told my old boyfriend about how I was cutting in a letter. He had told my mother. When my mother picked me up from camp we had the best conversation and the most emotional conversation. We made a plan to help me stop. I had stopped for a while, maybe six months. Six months of no digging my nails in me, cutting, or burning. Everything was going good, I was put on meds and I got even more therapy. But I still didn’t feel right without my baby brother and I didn’t feel I was real without my best friends. I was confused, I couldn’t feel myself, I couldn’t hear my heart beat. So I started up again. Now I have been cutting for around a year and I have been what I call asleep ‘for my whole life’ and I want to wake up. I want to be myself. I want to feel free. I want to take off my mask.


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