It isn’t that bad… is it?

Copyright, Brit

Well… I don’t think my story is all that important but, I figured I might send it in, in case anyone else feels the same way I do.

It all started off about two years ago. (When I was 13.) I don’t even remember exactly why I started to SI but, I did. I think it was when I heard about others doing it and that it was a good way to vent. (Or I at least thought that then.) So, anyhow, I wasn’t too happy about me and my previous situations with boys. My brother, who is my only other sibling, left… He moved to Hamilton. And my family was slowly falling apart.

Now, all of my aunts and uncles have split up with their husbands. My parents are the only ones left. But, I didn’t think so then. I thought they were gonna break up. They were fighting a lot more… I didn’t know why… But, I thought it was because of me. So, I started to cut one day. With a steak knife I found in the cupboard. I picked it up when I was home alone after school one day and slit my wrist. It started to bleed but, not a lot… I didn’t hit a vein and I didn’t push hard. The blood just kind of rose to the surface. It just kinda surfaced then went back down. So, I did it again in the same spot and pushed harder. That time it bled. Not a lot, just a bit. But, one thing was for sure… I felt a lot better. I felt happier and ‘away’ from my problems. It felt like all my problems were gone.

After that… I did it almost every night. I always felt scared I was gonna get caught but, never did… Until… My mum found out. She took me to a doctor and he said I should get rid of some stress. (I told him that was my first time.) I agreed and ended up ending a great relationship with my current boyfriend. I didn’t want to tell him that I had been doing SI so, I just told him I needed a break. Well… It ended up being a big mistake. My life went into a spiral and I ended up cutting more then once a day. But, no one found out ever again. Then, a few months later… He wanted me back! He wanted me back! I was so happy. Then, the next day… He dumped me. I cut and cut and cut… This happened two more times before I realized he was trying to hurt me and I confronted him and he said he was just trying to get me back. So, I told him why I dumped him in the first place and he said he was really sorry. Now, me and him still talk but, I could never, ever forget what he did to me. My mum and dad are ok… And sometimes friends can be a bug. But, I haven’t cut for a month. I’m very proud of myself and so is my current love interest. (Not saying any names… You know who you are!) So… All around the outside and some of the inside, I am a happy person. I’m trying not to fall in love with people so fast anymore and I’m trying to talk to people about junk. Just, not my mum and dad. I never, ever want them to find out I did it more then once. But, I know that on the inside I’m still the sad helpless kid I always was. Lucky… I’ve got good friends to help and these sites stop me from that kinda stuff. I plan to never do it again… Let’s hope I keep that promise.


Copyright, Brit

Well, things are getting a bit better you could say. I’ve talked to my mom and dad and now they both know about my cutting. Also, I go to see a counselor once every week. I feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes and I do cut but, thats not too often. Although, sometimes its quite deep. And I’ve got a new boyfriend. He is amazing. His name is Chris. We’ve been dating for a bit over 2 months now and we’ve been best friends for over 2 years. I hope/think things will turn out good. His family likes me and he supports me the best he can through all my horrible emotion changes. He is great. And life just seems to be getting better. I got a new hair cut to start fresh and everyone seems to love it. Life is going good and I hope things are looking up for some other people I know. Good luck to you all. I know everyone says this but, things do get better!


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