Copyright, Nichole

My story is short. Well I’ll try to make it that way. I’m only 14 and I’m still having problems. For when I was 13 my closest cousin who also was 13 shot himself. It was only 2 weeks before school was over, June 18 1999. It was a Friday, we were going to have his birthday party that night.

He had left school early telling us he had a doctor appointment.

Well we had gotten into this fight because he had gotten mad and called me a slut. (So I thought it was him.) I got mad and told him to fuck off and die.

That is what he did. I have thought of suicide myself but everytime I go to kill myself I think of the pain I went through and how I would put my little brother through more and I love him so much.

I have plenty of friends but Dallon (my brother) is the only person I can talk to and I always some how talk my self out of it.

I have 2 other friends who have killed themselves. One of them slit her wrist and the other hung herself. So as you can see I have lived with it for a long time and I don’t know how much I can take my mom thinks it’s the town and is thinking of leaving my father because she can’t live here anymore.

Every time I go to school I see my cousin’s locker and it’s hard. I just don’t know what to do anymore.


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