Nobody Knows Me

Lost Inside Myself

Copyright, Nobody Knows Me

I haven’t cut in almost six months, but every day it eats away at my mind. I feel it building up inside. Once you start this, you will never fully get over it. There will always be reminders of what you did and why. You can never get away from this disease. It will follow you through the rest of your life. My advice to you is not to start, or you end up like me, always alone. No woman will want someone who is this screwed up on the outside as on the inside. I started in the 8th grade and it only got worse in high school. I started having flashbacks of my childhood. I started to hate myself for what I let them do to me. If I only would have said no, if I only would have told someone what they were doing to me. Then maybe I wouldn’t have ended up like this. Maybe then I would have lived a normal life after all. Maybe I would have finished high school, maybe I would have gone to college, but that’s not what happened. I gave up and stopped living life. My parents tell me that I’m selfish and what I did to myself was selfish, because I was only thinking about myself when I did it. Am I selfish, because of what I have done? People give me funny looks when they see me, when they see the scars. They assume that I’m a total screw up. I’m not; I’m just very lost. I still can’t seem to find happiness and part of me thinks I never will. I live every day in fear that I’ll start again. I know I’m jumping all around in this, but I’ve been having a hard time fighting it. Like I said it’s been building up and everything I was told to do when it gets bad has stopped working. I want to feel anything but this pain inside of me.


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