Copyright, LisaWisa

It all started when I was younger In grade 7 I believe a fight broke out between my dad and mom then my mom came to me and started bitching at me I felt hated and since I was the preppiest of the bunch I put my long nails to use I started to scratch at the top of my arm until I had made a cut like rash I didn’t cut after that for about 6 months then little things started happening things I was to little to handle I had always been the maturest/ tallest/ bustiest out of my friends but I was the one that anyone could make break down I hung out with the wrong people and it led me into bad trouble I got caught stealing finally and that ended up in slitting my wrists I moved into a different school to avoid the other people I was not 13 but I could pass as 17 I had my long blonde hair nice shape body and bigger boobs then a 13 year should have. I started to hang out with totally diffrent people now they all cut too I soon joined in since I was already cutting my wrists I truly wanted to die at the time though my sister lost all her hair my dad was an alcoholic stealer and cheater he had been cheating on my mom for 3 years, but when the summer came I found out he was much much more he was a gambler and he had gambled away $60.000 this meant we where officially poor there was never any food in my house so I found more reasons to cut but things came even more worse my mom found out I was doing drugs and having sex at 13 so she told me she hated me and she didn’t let me see my friends so I planned it out in 10 min. when she went to bed I went into every cabinet and got all the pills I possibly could I first finished 115 Aspirin the 68 Advils 88 Tylenols and 35 wake-ups and 8 of these really strong pills I soon started throwing up whole pills. I also soon started sneezing up chunks of Aspirin, when my mom came down to check on me before she goes to work at 4:00 am she saw all the pills in my puke and knew what I did I begged her to take me to the hospital since I was 99% sure I was gonna die but she started to cry and said I don’t want to cause look at your arms I’m scared they will take you away I stayed up the whole moring (thanks to the wake-ups) my mom treated me like her baby girl again for about 1 month it felt so good I felt so good to be alive I told my friends and my best friend started crying but I told her I was ok but soon after that the fighting came back and I started to stay out all night again with guys (yes, at 13) so as you can see in the pics I cut my arms all up to bits. But when I let them heal I looked at my arms in shame they where all scarred and ugly. so I tried my hardest to stop when things happened I bite my lip and tried so hard. But things don’t end so good, my dad became addicted to cocaine and would acuse me of taking it and push me up against walls and hurt me (and I didn’t even take it) he also gambled away $40.000 more which makes $100.000 he gambled away we have 5 banks going after us now thanks to my dad, and there is no food in my house we have had to get rid of everything for money. So I’m turning 14 soon (july 10) and me my mom and 2 sisters are trying to sneek away without my dad knowing just leaving him it’s not so easy since he’s abusive and addicted to cocaine. But I’ve learned people need to accept life I mean I’m 13 and look what I’m going through it doesn’t even sound as bad as it is but I don’t cut anymore I’ve also learned that let yourself be true I went to a blonde haired girl with blue eyes wearing tight clothes and hated life and now I’m a pink spiked hair girl who wear loose clothes and accepts life.

Cutting helped me grab life again, it calmed me down, when I tried to stop cutting I couldn’t grab life, I was helpless, so I would cut, it was in my blood, a daily thing, if something becomes hard, cut it way, it took months for me to stop, but when things become hard, I still have the urge to cut, I start shaking, but I hold back usually screaming, I know cutting will stop everything, but look at my arms and stomach, it also leaves a painful mark.

If anyone needs to talk about anything or anything, e-mail me.


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