No One Understands

Copyright Emily

I wrote part of this already under anonymous. At first I wrote it for my friend. And now it’s for me. This time I’m putting my name because I want it to be out there.

in this mood
i feel so lost
and only i
am paying the cost
so understand
wat i do
and pleez
stop yelling at me 2
im all alone
in a big big earth
and sometimes i wish
i had never been birthed
with all this pain
what else to do
then cut myself
and no1 understands
xcept u

sometimes i need alone time
and other times i need more time
to think about every little bad
thing in my life
now dont b critisizing
just cuz u aint buying
this whole cutting and hurting myself


itz all red
for a long time it bled
im shakin now
not gonna fall down
they r all telling me to stop
maybe i will
thinkin about it still


getting scared now
wat if they find out
my whole life would go down
what should i do?
who should i tell?
now theres another one
it is new
this is getting outta hand
help me now
im falling down

Real Pain

Copyright Emily

I took the knife from the drawer Inquiring whether I would do it or not I promised I wouldn’t But the pain, The pain… I slowly went upstairs Into my room, And closed the door tightly. I took the knife and lightly brushed my arm No blood I had to keep trying Finally I cut deep enough to strike some blood Out it came Slowly rushing from my pierced arm It wasn’t enough Not enough blood Not enough pain I took the knife once again Over and over and over Till I grew tired But there wasn’t enough blood There wasn’t enough pain No matter how many times I cut It was never enough. But it helped take some pain away Each slice was a step towards victory. I finally decided my goal was complete. I made the pain go away. Well, only for about twenty-five minutes. What next you ask? Perhaps a sharper knife. Then maybe they’d notice.

I Wish…

Copyright, Emily

I wish people would stop staring at my cuts and scars.
I wish people would see for the person I am, not for the way I treat myself.
I wish I could live a care-free life.
I wish people could understand my feelings.
I wish the bleeding would never stop.
I wish the feelings inside of me would just go away.
I wish that everyone would leave me alone.
I wish… I wish I could just drop DEAD!

I Dream For…

Copyright, Emily

I dream for all my dreams to be of happiness.
I dream for peoplr to understand me.
I dream for people to stop staring at my cuts.
I dream for all my problems to dissapear.
I dream to go to sleep smiling.
i dream to wake up happy.
I dream to be happy.
I dream to… to die.


Copyright, Emily

Razors cutting deep into my skin,
Blood dripping down my arm,
The feeling, Oh the feeling!

If only this feeling would last forever,
I could be a happy person,
If I could cut every minute of every day,
I could live my life being satisfied.

The knife digging deep into my arm,
The blood oozing out of my body,
The pain, Oh the wonderful pain!

If this pain could only last forever,
oh, how I would be happy,
Just to feel this pain,
What a life I could lead feeling this pain every minute of the day.

Man oh man, if I could only cut every minute of every day,
I could have a happy life,
Only if I could every second of every day of my life.

My Only Wishes

Copyright, Emily

I wish to be happy,
I wish to go to sleep and never wake up,
I wish to go to school with a real smile on my face,
I wish life was care-free.

I wish people would stop staring at my cuts,
I wish would stop whispering everytime I walk into a room,
I wish people would try to understand my feelings,
I wish people would just leave me alone!

Why can’t they try to understand my feelings,
Why can’t they stop looking at me as if I were crazy.

People say I’m crazy,
People say I’m immature,
People say I’m stupid.

They just don’t understand.

I wish my life was easier,
I wish I could… could DIE!


Copyright, Emily

razors driving deep into my skin,
blood dripping down my arm,
Cuts, Cuts,Cuts, all over my body.

knives digging deep into my unscrarred leg,
the blood oozing out of the cut,
unscarred becomes scared and no pain becomes pain.

cuts everywhere on my body,
hudrends of scares, hudrends of scabs,
cuts like cat schraches, cuts like razor burns,
cuts bleeding, cuts healing,cuts everywhere.

these cuts are who i am,
they are what keeps me alive,
these cuts give me feeling,
they make me feel alive and real,
the cuts explain who i am withuot me saying one word.


Copyright Emily

She sits with her face towards the cement wall,
The vinal cot beneath her reeks of sickness and disease.
She lies there staring blankly, bloodied wrists towards the sky.
Her last ray of hope seeps from her.

They caught her in the basement, knife in hand.
They saw her, bleeding into the dirty sink.
The knife fell to the floor, catching the blinding light.

They screamed and she cowered against the wall.
The radiator frosted the window, hiding the bleak winter world beyond

The nurse came and brought her to this hellhole.
She stared first at the linoleum, then at the ceiling, now at the wall
She cried, wept, bled,
The nurse came and bandaged her wrists.

She screamed, hit the walls with balled fists,
The nurse stared wide-eyed, passerby stopped to watch.
The girl’s eyes bugged out as she fell, crashing to the floor.

Her head hit the tile.

Dirt billows as they poured it into her grave.
Dust to dust, to earth she returns.

Cries in Blood

Copyright, Emily

She can feel the frustration
The anger and stress
Building up inside of her
Threatening to overflow
And ruin her perfect image.
She knows she should cry
But the tears will not come
So she cries in blood
She tears her skin with a knife
Watching the crimson stream run down her arm
Watching all her anger and stress flow out
Feeling all the pain drain out of her body
As it is replaced by physical pain
Giving her something to focus on
She sobs and sobs in bright red tears
Until her body will allow no more
Then she slips back behind her mask
Hiding from the world
The world who knows nothing about her
Disconnecting from her feelings
So she won’t have to hurt so much
And when she can’t bear the pain
And she feels like crying tears
She cries in blood instead.


Copyright, Emily

she lies in bed
tangled in soft sheets
that soothe her raw skin

she lies awake
dreams of dreaming
tortured by reality

she feels her bare feet touch the cold floor
exhales as though it’s an obligation
already longing for the comfort
of her sheets

she wanders through the day
in oblivion
unable to disentangle
her emotions

she falls back into her bed
her shelter
reaches for a pin
paper clip?
to soothe her raw skin
sinks into a numbness
of sleep
tangled in her soft sheets


Permanent location: