Silent Cries

Copyright, Erin

I’m crying, crying
While thinking of dying,
Why oh why can’t you hear my silent cries
While the life in me slowly dies?

I need understanding,
I need comfort,
I wanna be loved,
I wanna be cared for,

Give me help,
Give me strength,
Don’t let my urge haunt me,
Oh please help me,

Let me cut,
I wanna cut,
It feels so good,
To be understood,
By my urge, that helps stop these silent cries.


Copyright, Erin

I just wanna die,
Just wanna die,
Why can’t you see
What you’re doing to me?

Why don’t you open your eyes
And hear my cries?
That I just wanna die,
And I can’t let this feeling lie.

You make it harder each day,
The way you make me pay,
For what you want me to be,
I just can’t let you see,
The real me.

I cut, I scream,
I’m in a dream,
This just can’t be
What am I doing to me?

Stuck at 10

Copyright, Erin

I’m a young adult,
Stuck with the mind of a 10 year old,
That’s what happened you see,
It really is me,
Not the 10 year old I used to be

I can’t change,
I will stay the same,
Cause you see that is me,
If I can’t be who I am,
Then I don’t know who else to be,

If I can be me,
I don’t know who me is,
But I’m sure that it isn’t who you think,
I am me and you can’t change me,
Only I can, IF and when I want,
I don’t want to right now,
I need my year back, from when I was 10, mind, body and spirit,

I hope you don’t mind,
I may act like a child,
But I am me,
If you can’t accept me then… Bye!

I need that year back so badly you see,
It went so slow and yet I can’t remember a thing,
I want that year back,
That was my lost year,
I forget those things that I was supposed to learn,
It makes me feel less human or as old as I am,
I NEED that year back,

But unsuccessufully I will probably be wanting it back for the rest of my life,
So I will be 10 if you like to call it that,
But I won’t be who you think I should be,
Cause I am ME!

Scarred for Life

Copyright, Erin

I’m scarred for life,
Inside and out,
I don’t know why,
But it’s true,

I remember one day it happened,
Then everything changed,
My friends looked at me differently,
Then so did I,

Just one cut was all it took,
My first little cut,
Wan’t even a cut,
It was just a scratch,

But now I’ve moved on to bigger things,
The real enchalada,
The real pain thatis now marked by my cuts,
They’re not scratches anymore,

So now I’m scarred for life,
Inside I’m depressed and humilated,
Outside I’m covered in scars,
Those scars needed stitching but to no avail I didn’t get them,

Fuck that guy who did this to me,
He ruined my life,
Now I see him nearly day after day,
It hurts so much I need to scream,

But of course,
I cannot scream,
Cuz I’m not like that,
I’m a perfect angel,
I was never raped,
Not even once,
Yeah right!

I need to believe it’ll go away,
But I cannot get close to the opposite sex,
They scare me,
My innocence taken unwillingly by one of them,

I look back and think,
I was but a child,
That doesn’t mean a thing,
It can happen to anyone,
Even a child of 8,

So here’s where I wish to end my life,
To end my onlonging pain,
But I cannot,
It’s too hard,
Almost harder than living.

The Girl in the Mirror is Me?!

Copyright, Erin

There’s a girl in the mirror I see,
That girl in the mirror has pain,
When things get lost she feels she has to flee,
Wherever she turns all she sees is a flame,

Whenever I see her,
Good days and Bad,
Her appearance changes,
From good to bad,

But when I look in the mirror and see,
That that girl in the mirror is loved,
That that girl in the mirror is loveable,
That that girl in the mirror is me,

I will be complete,
Oh so complete,
Full of love and joy,
That’ll be the day I learn to love ME.

If I Died

Copyright, Erin

If I died would you know?
If I died would you care?
If I died would you forget?
If I died would you’ve listened?

Dying seems the key,
To the infinate happiness,
That I may always seek,
Happiness, what’s that?

If I lived would you listen?
If I lived would you help?
If I lived would you care?
If I lived would you hurt me?

Living seems like hell,
From the time I wake up,
To the time I finally fall asleep,
This is the unknown I wanted to know of,

To be happy,
Is there such a thing?
To be graceful,
Oh how can I be?

Please Mummy,
Forgive me,
Please Daddy,
Forgive me,

I cannot live,
It hurts too much,
It wasn’t your fault,
It was mine for holding on so long.

If They Had Only Cared

Copyright, Erin

I would like to share a poem with you. I would like to see what you think about it. I would like to see it on your site but that is for you to decide. After reading some of the others it inspired me today to write my own and send it in.

It’s surprising to see
How many people don’t care
They might see the scars
But pretend they’re not there

Maybe they will finally see
That something is wrong with me
When I’m dead
Lying in my blood soaked bed

Or when they pick me up
And feel that the life is gone
They’ll try to bring me back
But it’s already been too long

Wrapping me in the blood soaked sheets
Wondering why I did what i did
They thought i was alright
But were told differently by the slits on my wrists

Seeing for the first time
What they had kept hidden
All the scars were there for a reason
To tell the story of my pain

They had finally noticed them
But it’s too late now
I’m gone from this life that i hate
If they had only cared…


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