Trying to Cope

Copyright, Janni

My name’s Janni. I was adopted because I was abused by my birth mum and step dad. They didn’t feed me and it was shit! I then got adopted and had a good few years until I got very depressed and took an overdose. I recovered only to find that my grandad had cancer. I stayed with him right to the end. I miss him so much, that’s when I turned to cutting. The first time I done it I used scissors and somehow I got the idea that a razor would be nicer and it was. The first cut was weird because it felt so lovely seeing the bubbles of blood… Somehow it’s so satisfying. Earlier on this year I was assaulted by an old man. It scared me so much. What did I do? I took another overdose and tried to hang myself. I then later on in the year got raped whilst I was out clubbing. I’m now in hospital with another suicide attempt, except this time I really meant it! I had to go on a drip, it was bad. I also advise everyone who self harms to talk to someone. Don’t get angery if they don’t understand because they never will. The only thing they can do is accept that you do it. Just play it safe. Use clean razors and clean the injury. I’m now seeking help, and to be honest it’s a relief. I hope you all get through this difficult time.


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