My scars remind me that the past is real

Copyright Jon

…and how true it is.

Back when I was thirteen or fourteen I became depressed. My grades started to drop in junior high, my teachers became worried about me, my sister got into fights with my parents, and other crap. I didn’t look to cutting till my depression became worse. I was overstressed, full of hatred, and I just wanted to beat the hell out of someone. I have lost three members of my family. One I didn’t really know, my great uncle, and my great grandma. I didn’t tell anyone. For three years. Three painful years. And I didn’t tell anyone. My friend in MI was a good friend. She helped me sometimes but I would still cut and she will be upset at me. Till I meet a girl at high school that I didn’t know would become a close friend. I told her all about my pain, stress, and how I would SI (self injury) till December came around. My depression was still bad. I told one teen site I hang out in that my cutting was getting worse that I was starting to cut on my left leg they said “OMG, you have to tell someone before it gets worse”. So one day at school I was thinking to myself and asking myself should I tell my mom or not over and over again.

Till I made that call that saved my life. I called a teen depression hotline and I told them what was going on with me. They said I do sometimes tell my mom how I fell. I told them I write a letter. They said OK write a letter and once you are done call back. If you don’t we will call you. Well, I didn’t write the letter. I was stunned I was like “OK Jon, there is no turning back”. I told my Mom. I told her everything. She asked to see the scars so I showed her. She asked me why did I do it and I told her. She said she had to tell my dad. And I am keeping a promise and that is not to cut myself ever again.

Nine months later I am still cut free. I try my best to help other teens with an issue like this.


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