Copyright, Sandra

My name is Sandra. I’m thirteen years old and I’ve have been cutting myself for about a year now. I have been really depressed lately. I have had mood swings. I have lost interest in a lot of stuff. I have been eating less. I used to eat three times a day now I only eat once or sometimes not at all. I just don’t get hungry. It’s not that I think I’m fat. I think I’m in great shape. I have been sleeping more than ussual and I hesitate to wake up. I have had thoughts about suicide so many times. My mom doesn’t uderstand me. She’s always screaming at me and I feel hopeless. My dad I feel that he’s far apart. I hardly even keep contact with him. I feel that I’m some kind of freak that doesn’t belong in this world. I feel that everything will turn out much better if I died. I feel so lonely and so cold. Everything that is wrong it’s my fault, my guilt and my own blame. I just want somebody to understand me and someone who won’t blame for every stupid mistake I make. I’m only human. I feel no pain when I cut myself because my emotional pain goes away. I was sexually abused by my neighbor when I was eight. I haven’t told anybody. I don’t get along with my family. I just wished that I died. There’s parts in my life where I just wished I was gone. I don’t care what happens to me. I’m always looking for danger or ways I can kill myself. I always have thoughts about suicide when I’m laying in bed at night.


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