Just Me

Copyright, Slasher

I am known as the ‘Slasher’. I have been cutting for about a year. And I am comfortable talking about it to my friends. They all think I am strange and shouldn’t do it and I am stupid for doing it. That makes me worse. I don’t like being classed as a self-harmer or anything like that. I am my own person. I don’t follow anybody else (clothes etc.) because I don’t believe you should live up to anybody else’s standards. Anyway, back to the cutting. I don’t seem to do it as deep as some people do on this website but it is deep enough. I tend to use razors, the double sided ones. Little things set me off. Even if I get something wrong in class I feel the urge to cut. I do cut at school. I wear a wrist band and keep my razor underneath there. I cut in most of my lessons when the teacher isn’t around and when I know nobody is looking. Most of the time my mates are watching me to check I am not doing anything stupid. I go to CCHS and I have quite a lot of friends but not all of them know about my cutting, only about twelve people. One of my best friends has stuck by me through everything no matter what. That person will be known as Woot. I am grateful for all of the help people have given me throughout this year. Plus a fab teacher has stuck by me too. I cut nearly every day. I don’t mean to though. It just happens. It’s a habit. Like biting your nails. If you aren’t a self harmer and you are thinking about it and reading this don’t do it. It gets you nowhere. I found that out too late. Once you start it is really really hard to stop. I knew a girl that cut for three years and she stopped for one year then she started again because she got dumped. Strange I know, but true. I cut partly because I hate the way I look. I’m hideous. People say I’m pretty, I don’t believe them. They are obviously lying. Every so often I go to Crown House where I go to CAMHS. They are nice there. It’s hard coming to terms with what you are doing to yourself. I only understood why I cut a few months ago. There are lots of people who will help you but I find that I feel like I am a freak. Because people try to help you but you don’t know why you need help yourself. Cutting is now a really big part of my life. I can’t wear the tops I want to or go on holiday because if I get a tan the scars will show a lot. I just want to say sorry for all of the people I have upset and hurt over the months. Remember, don’t do it.


When I was a child I was a normal happy kid. I did all of the normal things. Play with dolls, annoy bigger sisters and mess about in dirt and play in the street a lot. I got on well with everybody until I started going through a weird stage where I hated everyone and everything. That happened when I was about twelve.

When I was twelve I did something I shouldn’t have and I have nightmares about it and I find it hard to stop thinking about it.


When it was my 13th birthday I thought I was everybody. I was so proud that I would be classed as a teenager not a kid any more. My friends and family thought I was OK but I went through depression. I had cut a few times but not with anything really sharp like now. Toward the end of year eight (about two months till the summer) I started off by telling a teacher who I trusted and still do trust. Saying stuff like I feel sick. I don’t feel myself. One day I brought in a poem and it was to do with self harm. I remember it still now. It goes like this:

i think i’ll draw a picture
a picture with a twist
i’ll draw it with a razor
i’ll draw it on my wrist
and as I draw this picture
a fountain will appear
and all my problems will disappear.

It all started from there really. In art the Miss walked past me and I had my sleeves rolled up and you could see about ten cuts and a burn on my arm. She pointed and said what are these? I said nothing. I had to speak to her at the end of the lesson. thats when things got complicated. It all stared from there.

I’m going to miss a big chunk out because all I can say is I saw her at the end of school saying I had cut and she would check my arms.


I have come a long way since year eight. Me and Miss are getting along better and my cutting doesn’t happen every day. Well it does but I only do a few. Me and Miss talk a lot better to each other and I respect what she says. I have to show her my arms sometimes. Every time I see her she smiles and asks me if I’m OK. Me and my best mate Woot are stronger than we were in year eight.

Just want to say thank you to everyone who has helped me. I love you all to bits.


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