Copyright, Silver

I am sixteen years old and I have been a cutter/burner for two and a half years.

I am currently seeking help to stop my addiction and to figure out my mental status. I have tried to commit suicide four times by popping way too many over-the-counter pills at once. I should mention that I have a pill problem too.

Anyway, I started cutting in my freshman year and haven’t been able to stop since then. I have taken breaks between severe episodes of SI and slowly found my way back to my razors.

My mother, teachers, friends and boyfriend all know I cut. Even people on the street know I do it because I refuse to wear long sleeves anymore.

I was sexually abused when I was seven by a neighbor girl, who was sixteen at the time, who baby-sat for me and my brother. I was so young that it just confused me, and I’ve only told three people about it. I have never told my mother or father or even my brother (who is my best friend) about the things she did to me and I don’t intend to anytime soon.

I recently lost a friend of mine to cancer and when it happened, I was so depressed that I hid in my room for a month and a half with nothing but my razors, some cigarettes and a lighter. I barely ate a thing and lost a little over twenty pounds in that long, dreary month. I emerged from my room with several bleeding and infected cuts and my mother flipped out and took me to the emergency room where doctors asked me all sorts of disturbing and slightly annoying questions. I of course answered with half of the truth and spiled lies when I wanted to keep something private.

I’m in therapy now and probably on my way to recovery, but I really don’t want to quit.

I love what I do and I love the patterns and scars I’ve created on my body, no matter how ugly they seem to the person next to me on the bus, I find them beautiful.

I am not trying to encourage self-injury but I am not discouraging it either and I would like to leave my contact information to anyone who wants to talk SI, share pics or just talk about the weather. E-mail: Yahoo IM: the_mighty_queen_of_avondale.


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