Psyke.org

Camie

Confused

Copyright Camie

I started cutting when I was thirteen, I’m now fifteen. I don’t cut anymore but I sometimes just want to do it again. I really don’t understand the reason why I even did it. I know everybody else says they don’t know what they would do without cutting. I remember that feeling. Just cutting my arm with scissors then have the blood run down my arm. Right after that I would forget about what I was even pissed at. What I was doing was wrong but it felt good. I felt as if that was my way just to forget about something, and it was.

The reason why I stopped cutting was because I looked at my arms one day last summer. I just thought to myself why did I even do this? I was sick of wearing long sleeved shirts in the summer so I decided I don’t care. I’ll wear my short sleeves, tank tops and shit. Whatever people see is what they see. My friends never looked or treated me differently. It wasn’t even that big of a deal.

But still sometimes I just have this urge to drag a knife into my arm and feel what I felt when I used to do it. But at the same time I’ll be making more scars and memories.

 

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