Copyright, Chelsie

Well just like most of the people on this website they are self-harmers or were. For all of the people who aren’t one anymore are really lucky. Here is my story.

I have been a self-harmer for about two and a half years. For me that’s a long time considering that I started cutting when I was in 6th grade and I don’t remember why I even started. I think it was because I wanted to find a new way to relieve the pain that I had building up inside me. When I had started I had just moved to Kent, WA, and most of my life I had lived in Seattle with a lot of drug dealers and people like that. When I was in 6th grade I didn’t really fit in because everybody knew everyone that went there so I just kinda sat by myself until one of my classmates came up to me and started talking to me. Up until that day I had cut myself badly on my legs and upper arms. All of the kids made fun of me because I wasn’t the same size as them so I started not eating that much and in that one year I lost almost thirty-five pounds and I weighed 135 pounds and was only eleven at the time and was pretty big for my age and I didn’t wanna look like that any more. I wanted to change. A lot of the major stuff happened when I went to junior high school. I had bad grades at the beginning of the year and I was in the middle of a big fight with my best friend and getting pulled in to many different directions and the only way for me to feel better was by cutting myself and that was last year for me and I had started carving into my body instead of just cutting so I started to put things on my body like “screw up”, “alone” and “die”. Stuff like that. During the summer my best friend told my mom about what I had been doing and she put me in to counselling which I think helped over the summer but when 8th grade started this year I think it has gotten even worse because I lost the best boyfriend that I ever had and I had carved his name really deep into my skin along with “I luv you”. Because I loved him with all of my heart. I also lost my best friend and was betrayed by her too. So along with cutting I started smoking (cigarettes and weed). I also started to find other ways to hurt myself like hurt different parts of my body on purpose just so I could get out of something that I didn’t want to do and now that I have done that all of my grades are F’s because of what I did it caused me to miss so much school. But I still cut and if you want to talk to me you can IM me at or I also have AIM and my SN for that is sk8rb004 so if you want you can talk to me there.


Copyright, Chelsie

My story starts when I was a little girl and my parents were always fighting and I thought all of it was my fault. When I got into junior high I knew a girl who cut herself and I asked her why she did it and she said that it relieved her pain. So one night I got into a fight with my mom she left and when she did I found a sharp blade in her room because I was looking for some cigarettes to smoke and she didn’t know that I did that so I could only do it when she was gone then spray myself with something that smelled good. Then I remembered what my friend had said so I tried it and I found out that it did help. For me it made all of the mental pain turn into pain that I could control and right then it was the only thing that I could control at that time because my mom was always telling me to eat and do this and everything she wanted I would have to do that at that moment. I felt like I was my mom’s personal slave. The cutting got worse and worse then when I got into 8th grade I lost a lot my friends that I had in 7th grade and it was all because of the cutting and only my really close friends knew that I did that and that was only like three people. So this year it has gotten a lot worse I am fighting with my mom constantly and whenever I am through fighting with my mom I will go into my room and just lock myself in my room. Then on new years eve I was going to hang out with my friends but my mom told me that I couldn’t go anywhere so I locked myself in my room and then just went on the computer and talked to some of my friends that were at home, once everybody was asleep I went into their bathroom and got one of her boyfriend’s razors and broke it open and made a cut really deep on my lower arm and it said ‘lost’ and the next morning I was walking around in a short sleeve shirt and my mom saw it and asked my what I did and I said I was making something that said lost and I accidentally burnt myself. Of course she didn’t believe me so she started to put me into counselling. After about a month I was back into cutting because I was skipping my counselling appointments. Now that I have a boyfriend he is also starting to try and stop me. He is also starting to realise that I can’t live without hurting myself in some way. But I am not going to put any more of my story on so if you want to know more you can instant message me at or or e-mail me at one of those, because the rest is really personal.


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