Why I Cut

Copyright, Chrystal

My name is Chrystal and I cut myself.

Let me explain why.

I cut to feel understood, because I can’t find anyone in my life who understands me for who I am not just what they think I am. Because they think I am a fuck up who can’t do anything right, my parents that is. My siblings could care less about me and like to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. Screw them.

Anyway, my mom and dad hate it when I cry so I cut instead. Every drop of blood is a tear I couldn’t cry, a sentence I couldn’t say, a thought I couldn’t express, a friend I couldn’t have, a life I couldnt lead. I can’t tell my parents because all the support I would get from them would be anger, mistrust and, let’s face it, they would probably commit me. But anyway, I don’t want to stop and I know this sounds stupid but I feel loved when I do it.

So I say why stop? It helps to rely on yourself for something than to rely on someone else for nothing…

Well, that’s pretty much the gist of it.


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