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Courtnee

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Copyright, Courtnee

I keep on looking at the scars on my arm that are so close to my heart. I am what you call a self injurer. Or a cutter. But I know a lot of people who do it. Cutting, that is. A lot of people think we are trying to kill ourselves, that’s not the case… It keeps us from killing ourselves. Self abuse, or self mutilation is not something that you should do. It is not healthy. But cutting, you need to understand, is what people do to relieve stress or forget about something that is going on in their life.

I started doing it because I started going to court. I was molested by my uncle (not blood) for three years, but before that I was molested by my step-dad for close to ten years. I finally told someone about my uncle, he went to jail… I found out he molested my three cousins too… Sick, sick people out there. So to try and not think about that I took a safety pin to my arm… That was the beginning. That’s when I started taking wire, or glass, or knives. I have even used pop can tabs. Any way to bleed, any way to see the pain…. My life seemed so small, so lonely… And I feel like I am becomeing just another sad statistic of a depressed teenage girl.

 

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