My Story

Copyright, Clairebear

When I was 16, it was coming up to my mocks for GCSE at school. The pressure was unbelievable so one day I just reached for a Stanley knife but it didn’t even scratch the surface. I did it regularly until one morning my dad came into my room and saw the slashes on my arm, yes I finally succeeded and had hidden the fact for ages. Mum went off on one as she does about anything but dad was OK about it, telling me that if I had anything I wanted to talk about to tell him. I was clean for about 3 years until things at uni got really bad.

People often stared at my arms so I started wearing long sleeved tops, anything that would stop the stares. My so called friends even told me that I did it for attention, but unless you self harm yourself you don’t really have a clue. It all came to a head in January this year when I miscarried then broke up with my boyfriend a week later. That night is still blurred. Drank too much and just reached for a razor blade.

The cuts were pretty deep, the first time that I needed to get medical advice. After that my uni work went downhill and so here I am, after weeks of counselling ready to face the world again. I finish in December thank god, but I dont think I’ll ever have finished self harming, it’s like a security blanket for me.


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