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Natsuko

Endless Pit

Copyright Natsuko

Deeper, deeper
Goes the knife
Try your luck and end your life

Deeper, deeper
Runs the pain
Crimson sorrow in every vein

Deeper, deeper
Locked away
Rippled thoughts come out to play

Deeper, deeper
Empty eyes
Lay silently as your heart dies

Sweet Memory

Copyright Natsuko

I sit here with my fan near the window
It blows cold air into my room
I open the drawer, find my knife in the shadow
Cut by cut, I feel the darkness loom

Your face has been burned into my memory
Your beautiful chocolate brown eyes
To hear your voice takes so much out of me
When we say goodbye, a part of me dies

Being friends just isn’t enough anymore
I want us to gain back the love we once had
Once in this room we cuddled and kissed on the floor
Now this room holds only memories, lonely and sad

I pine for your lips, the way your arms felt around me
It didn’t work at first, but can’t we try again?
I know things would be better this time, hear my plea
I need you with me to feel whole again

I sit here in the cold, beside my window
Thinking back on your sweet memory
I place the knife back in the shadow
And wait for death to wash over me.

Rippled Thoughts

Copyright Natsuko

I fell in love with you
I thought we could make it through
Now you’ve left me all alone
I’ll cut the skin down to the bone

Now I sit here
Overwhelmed with fear
I only wish for the pain to leave me
But it won’t unless you return to me

I know how many months it’s been
I know I always see you again
But seeing you isn’t enough and will never be
I love you and I need you to love me

Four years we stayed together
You said we’d be forever
Now I’m dying here without you
This can’t be, don’t you love me too?

…

My thoughts are rippled like the skin on my arms
I won’t stop bleeding until I’m back in your arms
I would die to kiss your lips, to hold you
Now I will die here without you

Air

Copyright Natsuko

The air in my room is foul and stale
And in from my window there blows a gale
The birds chirp a melody of hopeful lies
Far down the street, a young child cries

The sounds from my window seem all too unreal
The wounds of insanity refuse to heal
Why can I not be normal, as they are?
But then what is normal when you’ve fallen so far?

I try to make the blade cut deeper
I want to die, to meet hell’s keeper
Even hell is a better place than this
When I slice my wrists there comes eternal bliss

No one understands me, though they think they know
The new, fresh air comes from my window
I beg my lungs to breath it in, to try
But I only fall on my knees to cry

 

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