Can I…?

Copyright, Nicke

Can I tell you my secrets,
And you’ll keep them to yourself?
Can I tell you I need you,
And you’ll offer me your help?
Can I open myself up to you,
And show you all I am?
Can I trust you to see past the shell,
And take me by the hand?

Can I make many mistakes,
And you’ll still be at my side?
Can I test our love and friendship,
And you won’t run and hide?
Can I shatter into a thousand pieces,
And you’ll pick them up one by one?
Can I tell you when my days are dark,
And your smile will be my sun?

Can I ask all this of you,
And then tell you I love you too?


Copyright, Nicke

Once again I’m feeling naked and bare,
My clothes from my retched body they tear,
People stop to stand and stare,
To see this girl feeling naked and bare.

As I stand alone, my nakedness revealing
Without my mask ever concealing,
What lies beneath, like how I’m feeling,
Showing all, vulnerable and revealing.

Shedding my masks as a snake its skin,
As people see what lies within,
See straight to my core and all my sin,
Now I have no faces I wear like skin.

Undressed by the words I spoke,
To those around me, said without joke,
Secrets from deep inside that I awoke,
All because of the words I spoke.

And so behind my masks, I will endeavour to hide,
My faces my shield, ever at my side,
And slowly, forever, my time I bide,
‘Til no longer I feel the need to hide.

I Have

Copyright, Nicke

Have you ever had the feeling that you’re heavier than lead?
Have you ever gone to sleep at night wishing you were dead?
Have you ever tried to make sense of the muddled thoughts in your head?
Have you ever loved a girl called Anne but slept with May instead?

I have…

Have you ever felt so low that you thought you fall through the ground?
Have you ever wished you’d walk somewhere that know you’d never be found?
Have you ever laughed at freedom because you felt so bound?
Have you ever been in a noisy room but failed to hear a sound?

I have…

Have you ever felt so uncertain your only thought was doubt?
Have you ever had the knot in you stomach squeezing you inside out?
Have you ever lost your voice when you really need to shout?
Have you ever felt so confused you wondered what life was about?

I have…

Have you ever felt the wave of darkness washing over you?
Have you ever stood before someone and wondered, “You are who”?
Have you ever had your life planned out and not known what to do?
Have you ever been in a situation where common sense has failed you?

I have…

I have felt all these things so know you’re not alone.
I’ll be there to take your hand and carry you back home.
I’ll be there to guide you through, the way that I’ve been shown.
You’ll make it through the darkness; with me you’re not alone.

Crimson Rose

Copyright, Nicke

Crying Rose,
Dying Rose,
Why she cries,
No-one knows.

Crimson tears,
Crimson fears,
The Beautiful Rose,
Cries crimson tears.

Tears of red,
Fears of red,
The Dying Rose,
Cries tears of red.

Crying fears,
Dying tears,
The Crimson Rose,
Dies of her fears.


Copyright, Nicke

Marching like an army of voices through my mind.
My own voice,
Like a whisper lost in the swirling rain.
I have vanished,
Withering like a dying tulip in the autumn breeze.
My thoughts, feelings and emotions,
Fading like my breath in the icy wind.

Shrinking so fast,
Those around me appear to be Goliath.
But I am no David,
I have long since lost my stones and sling with which to defend myself.
Pain has become my comfort,
The double edged sword I wear at my hip.
Not strong enough to fight,
The thought of unending happiness as frightening as facing my own death.

But I must rise up,
Burn the jagged walls that strangle my dying heart.
I must not be afraid,
To see my future before me and reach out with open arms.
I must find me,
Keep alive my dwindling voice for fear it may cease completely.
I must learn to love,
And not be scared to let my heart beat with happiness once again.

Trusting Touches

Copyright, Nicke

Sometimes a touch is just enough,
But at times that touch is hard to trust.
There are times when touching causes you pain,
But others when touching makes you feel shame.
The young man’s hand in a place it shouldn’t be,
That touch causes shame, why can’t you see,
The tear in her eye, oh how she weeps…
As sorrow fills her heart.

Sometimes a touch is just enough,
But at times that touch is hard to trust.
There are times when touching makes you cry,
But others when a touch will dry your eye.
The stern mothers slap on the little girl’s cheek,
That touch makes her cry as she desperately seeks,
Her mothers hidden love, nowhere to be found…
As pain fills her heart.

Sometimes a touch is just enough,
But at times that touch is hard to trust.
There are times when touching causes you harm,
But others when touching makes you calm.
The friendly hug the little girl receives,
That touch produces calm and makes her believe,
That she has worth, now watch her smile…
As peace fills her heart.

Sometimes a touch is just enough,
But at times that touch is hard to trust.
And for the girl once filled with shame,
‘Trusting Touches’ has become her game.
But with her friends help, the smile returns,
As slowly but surely she begins to learn.
Now ‘Trusting Touches’ is a game she wins,
As friendship washes away those sins.

What would happen if I told you how I feel…

Copyright, Nicke

You could hit my hand,
Or scald my skin,
Even hurt my breaking heart.
But none of these things,
Could add up to,
The words that would come from your heart.
For your face is a picture,
Of despair and disgust,
As you look at what I have become.
“What I have become!
This is not true” I say…
For this is who I’ve always been.

Will I ever…

Copyright, Nicke

Six hundred and sixty six,
No matter how many times you say it,
It still won’t fix,
What’s going on inside my head,
I’m the spawn of the devil,
But with all that said,
It doesn’t make me feel…
Any better.

Nine hundred and ninety nine,
Devil’s number upside down,
Inside out and wrong way round,
Will I ever feel…
Any better.

Six hundred and sixty six,
Supposed to give me answers,
A quick fix,
For what is churning inside my mind,
I’m the devils child,
A special kind.
Guess I’ll never feel…
Any better.

The bird with the paper wings

Copyright, Nicke

The bird with the paper wings,
Leaves the nest and as he does he sings.
For this is the day he becomes a bird,
Off he flies to find his flock, his herd.

Every day that passes, his quest becomes harder,
With the others he can’t keep up for their wings are harder.
At the back of the pack he stays, frightened and alone,
Too scared to go back for he has lost his way home.

With nowhere to turn to, no friends to call his own,
He sits atop a chimney breast and his sweet song becomes a moan.
Suddenly, all around, the sky begins to darken,
The storm begins with lightning flashes that make the night sky brighten.

He tries to fly… higher, so high,
To escape the rain falling from the sky.
But his wings are wet, and start to break,
Piece by piece, his wings seperate.

With no wings for flight, he crashes to the ground,
Broken and twisted he now lays unable to make a sound,
For the bird that once had paper wings,
No more he flies, no more he sings.

Crying Game

Copyright, Nicke

Crying game,
It is a crying shame,
If it’s not your tears,
Then it’s your fears,
Being released,
For a moment suspended,
But when that moment has ended,
You’ll feel the same,
Except with more guilt and shame,
Welling up inside…
Trying to break through.
Your eyes cry tears,
While your arms cry fears.
Wipe your eyes dry,
While your arms sigh,
Marked with you tears and fears,
Built up through the years…
Reminding you of your guilt and shame,
‘Cos it’s all a crying game,
Oh what a crying shame.


Copyright, Nicke

Tonight i have not cut… but
How I long for that fear to be released…
The fear of being alone,
With nothing but my knife to bring me sweet, sweet comfort.
How I long to feed my new-found addcition,
And watch the blood pour from my fresh new babies born unto my arms,
Telling of the fear and anger i feel inside.
How I long to tell the world of my pain,
To scream as my arms do,
Pain and peacefulness combined.
The blood is my pain,
Rejected from my body as life rejected me.
Every time I cut it eases this inner ball of fear and anger and pain,
Until it is replaced with guilt and shame…
-My secret shame-


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