These are some of my poems written at times when I have harmed myself. They represent my emotions at that time. The words just seemed to pour out onto the computer.

I Hate You

Copyright, Newts

You fucked it all up
ruined itv scorned it
I hate you
loathe you
despise you.

Your lies spill out
ruin lives
hurt people
I hate you
loathe you
despise you

run home now little girl
cry in your room
self pity spills from your veins
fuck you bitch
I hate you
loathe you
despise you!


Copyright, Newts

The tears spill down as she walks alone,
Alone and afraid
Alone and betrayed

The blood flows over as she sits alone
Alone and afraid
Alone and betrayed

The anger rises as she lays alone
Alone and afraid
Alone and betrayed

The painkillers numb as she dies alone
Alone and afraid
Alone and betrayed

It Wasn’t

Copyright, Newts

It wasn’t that i hate you
It wasn’t that i cried
It wasn’t that i want me dead
Even though i wish I’d tried.

The thought of you around me
The though of you here
Makes my skin crawl
Makes my skin boil.

Leave me now
Let me grow
Let me die


Copyright, Newts

As the blood pours,
My eyes close,
My heart feels empty,
My heart is numb.

You don’t understand,
Why should you…
Perfect existence,
perfect soul,
Perfect view.

You say I’m fucked up,
Crying inside
Dead inside
Spinning around,
The words pour out
Like the blood from my arm.

My mind spins fast,
Thoughts Pass through,
Then before I know it,
I’m gone

Yesterdays Window

Copyright, Newts

She walks past the window and stops and stares
the same window she looked through yesterday
but nothing has changed
The leaves on the ground are still all there
Just like the scars in her heart.

How she longs for things to change
but the pain does not sweep away in the autumn wind
The lingering pain grows deep inside
Will it ever go away?

She looks back on her life
With sorrow in her mind
She thought she could be so happy
Be loved, be cherished
Those thoughts seem centuries ago

Her memories now are just scars on her wrist
For every anger and sorrow ever felt
A tear trickles from her eye
As she picks up the knife

She walks past the window and stops and stares
The same window she looked through yesterday
The same window she will look tommorrow
The same window she looks through today.


Copyright, Newts

I stand back and watch you
from what you were
to what you are now
I loved you
Now i hate you

you changed over night
no care and no love
no respect
no love
I hate you

I love you
I need you
I cry for you
I long for you
but still I try for you
I hate you

i cut deep
you watch me fall
the smile on your face deepens
black eyes
black heart

why have you done this
have you ever cared
I gave my life to you
I gave my soul to you
now I am empty inside

you drained my life
you took my hope
I stood back and let you
I m such a fool
such a failure
but why did I let you?
im not like you
I care


Copyright, Newts

Is it true?
You lie?
I Feel you
I see you
I hate you

Move away
Sway with the rhythm
Let your mind fly free
Then your there again
I hate you

Try to run
Close your eyes
Stab the pain
Free me
Cleanse me
Kill me

I hate your touch
I hate you flow
I hate your coldness
I hate your scars
So why am I addicted

From One Soul to Another

Copyright, Newts

From one to another,
Your faces change
Another person yet again,
All hiding behind the same shell

Confusion runs through your mind,
Words pour out your mouth,
As hurt takes over your soul,
And as we stare the shell is still the same,
But the words are of someone else,

I love you,
But you hurt me deep,
The apologises come around again,
I accept them,
I forget,
maybe they will come back around another day,
Another way..

But I still love,
I still care,
I still die every day for you.

Meant to be Love

Copyright, Newts

You see me everyday
How I ve changed over the years
You re meant to care
Your meant to love
But how can you love
How can you care
When you don t even see
I m dying inside
Crying inside

Your screams rattle through my brain
Your hate rushes through my veins
Still no sight of how im slowly slipping

How could you be blind to this
How can you not see
The blood on my body
The scars on my wrist
I suppose people call it love
I suppose people call it denial

To me this is meant to be love!


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