Psyke.org

Britt S

Face in the Crowd

Copyright, Britt S

How fucked up is that?
How incredibly fuckin sick is that
The only thing keeping me alive, is killing me at the same time
The sharpness of the blade against my skin
The pressure made up of my emotions finally being able to come together
That sounds so seriously fucked up
How the fuck does that make and sence
That I live to be tortured by my own emotions?
Something must be seriously wrong

But in my eyes it seems so god damn perfectly normal
The everyday sessions with crimson red
The anger slowly fading, to make me last but another day
But why do I not just end it
I fucking don’t get it
I hide under my fake smiles and laughter
Im sick of keeping it bottled up deep down inside
Im so annoyed with every ones fucking guilt trips
I tear my self up inside and out
Im sick of living the role of a falce identity
Let me be free!
I have been cut too deep, the scars forever re-opening
My pride has slowly drained away
My time is running short, it is almost here
My time, the time that I will be forever eternal
Im always just to be a miserable face in the crowd

Inappropriate Thoughts… My Ass

Copyright, Britt S

I take the blade
And the problems start to fade
The life I live is a fucking mess
Full of anger and hatred, depression and sadness
I live my true life alone
Alone like the death of eternal happiness
The beating of my blood as the blade slashes
The burning and small streams of blood
Like a waterfall of blessed crimson
I am sick of lives little social abuses
I am sick and need to be at rest
There is no relevancy for me in this fucked up sickness
I have become so frustrated with the obeisance
I suffer so much, so much, too much
Lack of decorum takes over
The dirges play in my mind
The pain of life is based on my mind and soul
I am going to end this, over dose on nepenthe
There is no faith, no place for seraphim’s
Only a place of total darkness
Darkness-something I appreciate
The blood moves on down my wrists, hands and legs
It slowly seeps into the darkness
Where no one is to dictate
I envy the part of me I no longer have, all I am left with is scars and my bleeding, crying soul

Untitled

Copyright, Britt S

This life is killing
Why is it so unlucky and so damned?
It is just too unfulfilling
Do you even have any idea what you are doing to me?

Im screaming and bleeding outside and in
I need to let my emotions out
Why do so many think it’s a fucking sin?
Do you even have any idea what your doing to me?

I tear myself apart in my dreams
Tortured by my friendly fleam
This dream is nothing more then reality
Do you even have any idea what you are doing to me?

I am looked down on, by your society
I do not fucking care about them, and their god damn conformity
When those words came out of your mouth my torture reality — I knew would last an eternity
Do you have any idea what you are doing to me?
No.

Not Ashamed

Copyright, Britt S

Each little mark I have made- a symbol of what i am
Noticing the art and anger engraved into my skin
Each little mark reminding me that I am not worth a damn
I need to feel-feel alive, feel the pain- it is not a sin!

Do not pity me that is not why I am here
Jesus Christ stop looking- I am not part of your society
You annoy me, just disappoint me, leave me alone, let me be
I am glad you fear me that is the way that I choose of it to be

I live for the pain that I desire
Fuck you I am not weak or weary
I am going to set this bloody world on fire
It is going to burn, burn with the flames made up with my anger, corrupted with my sin
I simply despise this reality

Frantic terrors are feeding my soul
The darkness is rising I am leaving the shadows and going into the dark
My sanity is vanishing
Start your god damn fearing

The red anger slowly appears from my skin
I always keep going, seeing threw the pain
I am nothing, I am no one, I will no be remembered
I do not fear.

 

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