Copyright Me’lisa

Well most people start at night when they’re a teen. I started during the day as a young child I didn’t know it was called self injury or that it was a problem. I thought it was helping that nothing was wrong with me. I cut and slashed and burned thinking of all the faults in my life, of the pain I had caused others or the pain they had caused me. I had no idea what I was doing. All I thought was it was coping witht the pain I was going thru. I was made fun of at school. I was an eleven year old goth, the only one in our little town. I stuck out like a sore thumb. I still do. My arm was so trashed by the time my parents came home that night and discovered me passed out with a razor in my hand I had to go to the hospital and have skin grafts. They put me in the psychiatric ward where I continued to harm myself until I was allowed to leave. I was happy. I thought I was normal again. Then one month later I had an ‘attack’. I grabbed a kitchen knife, stuck it in my chest and ripped down, slicing my chest wide open for which I was given fortyfive stiches. I still struggle with self injury but I’ve had help. I’ve realised I’m not alone in this world. I can have help but I don’t want it but I have to go. I hope none of you go through this and I hope if you do you know you can have help.


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