Copyright, Mercee

My name is Mercee and I’m thirteen. I live in Florence, Montana, and I am a cutter. I started tonight. Everyone telling me I’m stupid, worthless, nobody likes me, they’re sick of me. Even my own mother was doing it. My best friends don’t seem too bothered by the fact that I was suicidal earlier this year. My dad’s an over the road truck driver and he’s never home, my brother is in prison for four years, my other brother is going crazy and is a gambler, and my sister is a cutter plus she’s anorexic and bulimic. And me, well I used to be a very good Christian. Until everything went downhill. I went to a bible camp for the summer. And I felt so loved and wanted there that I felt like running away so I didn’t have to go home. But as soon as I got home, my parents were fighting and my brother got pulled over at the age of sixteen, drinking and driving without a license. I am so glad I finally got the pain out of my system. And I’m so mad that it’s summer, because I have to sit home all summer and listen to all the shit my family has to say. I have a feeling I will be cutting for a long time. And I am so ashamed to even pray to God because I can’t face him. I actually walked in on my sister cutting herself one time. And she is such a bitch you can’t understand. Everyone loves her, she is beautiful, and everything my parents want in a daughter. Unlike me. And I wish I could just die. I will use a needle though because the scars will be less noticable. Because my school counsellor is already on my ass about this. Oh, and I’m anorexic. Yeah, I have a lot of problems, and I will refuse to fix them.


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