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Mystic Dragon

My Story

Copyright Mystic Dragon

I first cut when I was seven. I thought it was cool to try. I did it once, saw all the blood and got so scared. Two years later I was nine. I was getting bullied. I got so mad I trashed my room, a mirror broke. Not really thinking straight I grabbed a piece of glass. I just scratched myself with it, not really breaking the surface but the pain was such a rush. Every day for a few weeks I did this till it wasn’t enough. I found a knife. I realised how bad it had gotten when I was eleven, cutting every day. I stopped. Between eleven and thirteen I didn’t cut often, only when it got really bad. When I turned fourteen I suddenly got very depressed I started hurting myself but it wasn’t cutting so I didn’t realise I was SI’ing, I’d scratch, bite my self and punch walls. After about six months I caved and cut myself with a CD case. It felt so good, I started cutting regularly. Now I’m fifteen and about two months ago I discovered the razor blade. I now cut every day. I keep a razor blade with me all the time usually cutting five or six times a day. I hate myself for what I’m doing. I want to and have tried to stop but I can’t. The urges are getting worse and the small shallow cuts no longer give me as much of a rush. Sometimes I wish I was dead, others I mull along. I felt as if no one knows no one understands till I talked to a few people off this site, one actually stoped me cutting when I had a really bad urge. I’m writing this not to “show off” but just so at least some people even if I don’t know them understand. This site really helps when I’m down.

 

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