Me, Myself and all the other Me’s

Copyright, Mena

This site is something I thought I’d never find, it’s like I am totally accepted here and no one thinks I am a freak and what I do is normal. Cutting for me is normal. It’s my life, I live on the freedom it gives me. I can express myself with my razor blade. I am scarred everywhere, I have been stitched so many times it’s ridiculous, but I have to do it, it’s what I do.

I started when I was twelve after reading an article in a magazine about it and I thought it was weird but I always loved hitting myself and banging my head off the wall so I thought I’d give it a go.

Now I have been doing it for 7 years. I go through periods where I don’t do it but I was raped before christmas and I had a nervous breakdown and ended up in hospital where I met a girl who became my best friend and was scarred like me and we got back into cutting.

So now I cut a lot, I carve words like hate and die into my arms and legs. Nobody knows and my family pretend to not know, so it’s okay I guess. But hiding cuts is a nightmare, I do not flaunt them in public like some people but it’s just my preference to hide it. I am ashamed but I guess it’s my way of life. People need to not hate us for it and try to understand it, we post our pictures to make us feel normal amongst each other and although people may deny it we often encourage each other in our cutting, but not in a sick way, it’s our coping mechanism, I guess it’s like a group of yoga poeple encouraging each other in their breathing relaxation teqniques, kinda.

To be honest, cutting hasn’t ruined my life, it has helped it. Rape, eating disorders, murder, psychiatric hospitals, psychosis and drugs have ruined my life, so put it perspective cutting is not that bad. In fact I am pro self harm when you find it helpful and it’s far less damaging than a handful of ecstasy tabs. Unless of course you take a limb off with your razor blade. Not advisable I’m sure. There’s more to my story but that’s just a bit of venting for ya.


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