Midnight Saphire

My Story

Copyright, Midnight Saphire

My story sounds like probably many others. When I was in 6th grade (about 11 or 12) I went through a time of dark thoughts and angry feelings. I’m sure everyone has gone through a rebellous time in his/her life. My gothic feeling had spiraled out of control. By the time the 2nd makring period went by I had been getting into self mutilation. All my feelings of stupipity and sadness had all come back and that night I went into my room and slit my wrist. I didn’t get too far. But the bleeding stopped. That night I put a gauze wrap on it and told my parents that I had cut it on my locker. The next day I thought I could tell my friends but it all got out and finally to my parents. They took me home and I was out of school for a week. When I came back I thought I had changed but I still felt the same. Weeks later it all came rushing back. I went to school carrying a knife on me hoping to kill myself in the bathroom. During class one of my friends went into my bag looking for a tampon and found the knife. She told the teacher and I got suspended for 2 weeks. My parents took me home and found I had written my will. They got really scared and took me to the psychiatric ward at the hospital. I spent the night there. Four years later (now 15) I am now on antidepressants and feeling better. I still have those thoughts about doing it but I talk to my family and friends. If you are someone who reads this and wants to talk to me about suicide then feel free to e-mail me or my screen name is onetuphlilcookie. Take care and dying is not the answer.


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