The Smile As I Cut

Copyright, Lida-Tuy

Each cut is a little surprising, with each slit, a jump of shock
But I don’t scream or make a noise, All you hear is tick tock
My arm feels tingly, not hurting much, as I watch blood appear and such
I’m thinking “I’m not good enough!” Even though, at times I’m tough
You can’t hurt me the way I hurt me
You can’t cut me, scar me for life
You can tease, laugh, discriminate, but it’s not your life
I’ll do what I must to feel good
Or just the way I think I should
Anywhere I cut, a red mark appears,
then with a burning sensation, away go all my fears
Depression and misery, 2 of my closest non-living friends
always there for me, whether you see it or not, I’ll always be
None of you seem to care, cause im a freak, I’m not there
You try to avoid, sometimes it’s the way I look
But read on over here, it might get you shook
Judge a freak by what he does, not what he looks like
For he can be normal inside
And for what I do, I have very little pride
It’s true I don’t act “normal”
Some things I do are queer, but YOU do some things out of the ordinary, my so called normal peer
I don’t hate people who hate me, I hate people who just can’t seem to get enough
Get enough of making fun of me, why are they bein so rough?
My true friends would stick by me, most of them already have
Maybe I’m not all that crazy, maybe I’m not all that bad
My slits still hurt now, but I like the feeling
It shows me how strong I am, how much pain I can actually take, and as I look at it, to me, it looks like art in the make
I wanna say thanks for making me feel this way, thanks for making me the one who has to pay
For all the times you felt bad, I cut myself, I take your pain
Every time I cut myself, it’s a sacrifice so now there’s no need to blame because even now, I take your pain

Tuesday April 1, 2003


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