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Lizzie

Untitled

Copyright, Lizzie

my heart is torn to pieces as my mind releases everything ive thought about how much i wanna get out theres so much emptiness inside and theres nothing left to hide except these scars i feel like im behind bars an i want to leave but i cant keep on tryin to believe that im okay never knowing if ill make it another day all that i can concentrate on are the marks that i have drawn its the only pain that i can control and i gotta take hold of my pain im so drained i have no self esteem im ripping at the seam i just want to be me i want to be free and when i cut i can shut myself from the world ive come to be a ball thts curled all alone in this broken home help me please im on my knees i cant take anymore of what life brings so carry me up on your angel wings

Untitled

Copyright, Lizzie

i know you think i brought this upon myself but i cant help my desire to be someone else sometimes i cant keep going cause theres so much i’m not showing so many of my cries have gone unheard i try to scream but no one hears a word i have so much to talk about but my mind refuses to let it all out it stays trapped inside the me that i hide until it gets too much and the nights are too long and rough its not a want its a need like a need to breathe it becomes so addictive and the wounds that i have inflicted are the only pain to which i have reign i’m in control nobody can take hold of me show me how im supposed to be they cant tell me how to act when the world attacks whenever i cut i just let my mind shut i pay no attention to everything you’ve mentioned so with every slit that i make i let my pain drip away

The Blade

Copyright, Lizzie

In this “perfect” world of mine
There’s a lot that you don’t see
There’s so much you don’t hear
And I am not who I seem to be

I wake up every morning
From dreams that are surreal
With lacerations upon my body
That I doubt will ever heal

My wounds are inflicted by many
But the scars are left by one
He tells me I can never stop this
And the pain is far from done

His spiteful words
Don’t even allow me to breathe
I can’t get them off my mind
So they cut at me ‘till I bleed

I’m so afraid to sleep
Because I dream this every night
He haunts my once inviolable dreams
Every time I turn out the light

I must hide this all so well
Because you never seem to see
The fear that lies within
And the pain that dwells in me

I put on this fake smile
While I’m the star of this little show
Never revealing how I truly feel
So you will never know

And then I suddenly realize
That these dreams, they are not dreams
That these things were done to me
But nothing is what it seems

And this “he” I’ve come to talk about
Is my little friend: The Blade
He inflicts my every wound
And in his hands my life is laid

I feel my time nearing
I hear him calling my name
This is no one’s fault but mine
I’m the one to blame

But then I hear you calling out
And it drowns out his vicious voice
I hear you saying, “Just hold on girl,
You don’t have to make this choice.”

And as everything begins to spin
I see a familiar face
Then I abruptly drift away…
And come back to a familiar embrace

So we lay there together
My blood seeping on your shirt
I look deeply into your eyes
And I see a look of pain and hurt

But still you wrap your arms around me
And you give me my last kiss good-bye
You say, “I’ll never forget you…”
And I see a tear fall from your eye

Just one single tear
And it lands right on my lips
You take in a deep sigh
And say, “I only wish…”

“I only wish I could’ve seen
What you were going through,
I wish I could’ve been there…
Maybe I could have stopped you”

Right then you take my hand
And hold me to you close
You say, “Why’d you have to leave me?
You’re the one I need the most.”

It was time to say good-bye
You place your head upon my heart
And say, “I know I’ll never hold you again,
But right here we’ll never part.”

 

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