Copyright, Liz

She holds her razor blade close,
As her body weeps crimson bliss.
Her insides writhe and beg for another dose,
And she’s lost in a pain for pleasure abyss.
She loves her eyes tasting the ruby beads,
As her pale skin drains.
Her slashes in hopes of relief deceive,
And her dejected perception remains.
She’s confined to an aching procedure,
As her trembling hands continue to carve.
Her gaping wounds precede her,
And her empty heart silently starves.

No Time To Say Goodbye

Copyright, Liz

I Look At You Leaving
You Had To Run You Say
No Time To Say Good-bye
At Least There Isn’t Today.

Run As Fast As You Can
The Bar Is Calling Your Name
No Time To Say Good-bye
That’s What’s Causing All My Pain.

I Give You One More Chance
This Shouldn’t Be Something New
“I Have No Time To Say Good-bye”
The Fuse In My Head Just Blew

I Laugh It Off And Think To Myself
Fine, Well Then Fuck You!
“I Love You And Good-bye”
That’s All You Had To Do.

So I Write You This Note
To Share With You My Pain
I’m Sorry About To Something Wrong
I’m Sorry You Didn’t Feel The Same.

But I Would’ve Told You What Was Wrong
That For A Years Now I Wanted To Die.
But I’m Sorry I Didn’t Do That Cause
I Had No Time To Say Good-bye.

Who Understands?

Copyright, Liz

You shake your head yes
Like you understand what i mean!
But theres scar’s all around
That you haven’t even seen!

What do i do
About the pain in here
The one you can’t see
The one that’s so unclear!

I look inside my heart
And i see blood deep down
So i cover up the depression
I flip the frown

I kno what i feel is wrong
I kno i cant explain
But what do u expect?
These feelings i cant tame!

I look down
And theres blood from my arm
I want to cry
But i continue to cause harm

Theres others out there
Others out there like me
Others that dont want attention
Others that you should let be!

I didnt mean to hurt people
But i hurt myself too
So i sit in my bubble
And wonder what the hell to do

Do i cry out for help?
Do i cry alone in the dark?
I guess i do what is right
I guess i’ll follow my heart

This world is crule
This world isnt meant for me
So if you understand
How come you cant see?

How come i have blood everywhere
How come the carpet is red
How come your in the corner cryin
Cause your little grl is dead!

Did you really understand?
I dont think so
For the reason i commited suicide
You’ll never really kno

Good bye mom
Good bye dad
Good bye to all
I was too tired of bein so sad!!

Life As Me

Copyright, Liz

Searchin for a blade
A gun or a knife
Something i can use
To slowly take my life

Whats the purpose
Why keep tryin?
One more day goes by
And i picture myself dying

I dont want to suffer
I dont want to feel pain
Its makin me crazy
Its drvin me insane!

Hold on for you
Just dont let go
Ive got news for you
Theres something im goin to let you kno

My mom hurt me bad
I was abused as a child
The effects really effected me
And it shows, not too mild

Im done with the pain
Im through with it all
Im ready for hell
Im ready for the fall

Dont you dare call me a coward
Cause i really did try
But i got no where in life
All i did was cry!

If what im doing is wrong
Then i dont want to be right!
Cause ive cut below skin level
And the color peach is out of sight

I tried to warn you
I tried to let you see
That pain that was insde
That pain that swallowed me!

So this is my good-bye
Im done; no more!
Im sorry you’re goin to find my lifeless body
Lying there on the floor!!


Copyright, Liz

Why do you play these games?
Of love and hate,
Your never happy your never pleased,
I do this all for you,
Everything I do is never good enough for you,
I put you to shame,
I give you grief,

I will end it now,
Saving you from everything,
Killing myself for love for care,
All I needed was for you to be there.

Never There

Copyright, Liz

I can see so much clearer with tears in my eyes
My blade in my hand
You take advantage of me you use me and abuse me
I never could figure you out
With love in your eyes you would scream and shout
You enjoyed every second of it
You enjoyed my pain and suffering
Now it’s my turn to hurt me
You will never win as long as I have my blade
These cuts I have made bleed and bleed letting all the pain out
I drain it all away but the pain just seems to stay
Burning inside of me what do I do I can’t turn to you?
You will push me aside laugh in my face
How do I know?
I have already tried to talk to you
You were ashamed disappointed
But nothing changed
It all stayed the same
You looked at my cuts like some museum
Not understanding the pain just what others would think
Cover it up hide it don’t let anyone know
Our perfect daughter has secrets of her own
You were never there

You were never there to listen
Never there to care
So why now all a sudden
You want to be there and pretend you care
I will never look at you the same
Not after all these years of pain
You play a game with my life
Making my the loser
Nothing I did was ever good enough for you
I would try to be you ideal daughter
But you just turned away
Torching me every step I take
Looking over your shoulder to see who is watching
Why should I turn the other cheek when you hit me?
Even though all I do is stand there and take it
Waiting for my turn with the blade
It’s my reward for being so good
When you abuse me with your words with your hate
As I watch you tear my sisters apart with words that hurt more than my blades
You were never there!

The End

Copyright, Liz

I sit here not able to cry,
As I kiss my life good bye,
Everyone I love leaves me,
Why cant you see,
All I wanted was for you to stay,
This wasnt how this was suposed to end,
With hate in my heart,
and a knife in my hand

If you loved me and I loved you,
Then why wasnt out love true?
you left the hate in my heart,
you placed the knife in my hand
you guided each cut after cut
with calming words in my head,
I pictured you there smiling,
the hate growing,
is this the end.

Never Silent

Copyright, Liz

Yelling, screaming is this all what life is?
Always arguing never really hearing,
I just wish my family would be more caring.
Every fight brings me pain,
When there done I try to cut a vain,
As days go by I cut deeper and deeper,
Looking for away out and never finding one,
Sometimes I feel like I live a lie.
My friends see me as the perfect girl with perfect family,
If they only knew the real me what was under the sweaters I wore everyday.
Everything is to complicated sometimes I think a quick death is the only answer.

Broken Promises

Copyright, Liz

Tears and blood mix on my chest
And drip on the floor
And I don’t care
I promised I wouldn’t cry tonight
I was never very good at keeping promises
Just another broken promise
Just another broken heart
Just another stain on the carpet
Long-lasting and unexplained
How many more promises broken
Before I learn that promises aren’t real
That love is never true
That stains never wash away
That life is not worth it
How many more promises broken
Before they break me?

I Live a Lie

Copyright, Liz

Lying next to purity
I am stained: more.
Flirting with insanity
my mind wanders wanders the abyss as before.

Torn betweenn two worlds
Only confusion emits.
My only friend who knows all,
Lies deep in the pit.

A creeping familiarity
A dark sense of warmth.
The friend from all times
has returned: power shown.


Copyright, Liz

My parents fighting tears me appart,
My mothers crying brakes my heart,
These fights bring me pain,
When yelling at each other isn’t enough,
They bring me into their sick games,
They say things to make me feel like nothing,
I got to my room hating them with all my heart,
Take out my blade and begin to cut,
Cut after Cut,
Letting the blood flow,
Over and over again until there is on skin to show,
I feel nothing,
When the job is done i feel as if i have won.


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