A Secret so Confused

Copyright, Lynn

is this so wrong,
to love what i know is so bad?
has it been my fault,
that i have felt these feeling so sad?

what is it i have felt, anyway?
was it anger and hurt?
was it really all my fault,
for so long i have felt like dirt?

i was lacking confidence
i lost my sense of time
i had no more strength
was my choice really a horrible crime?

it was my choice
mine and mine alone.
but can i truly be blamed?
is is certainly not an action i condone.

it makes me feel fear
the red and swollen lines
am i punishing myself
or am i addicted and blind?

i believe i am suffering
my pain really is real.
it may truly be my fault,
but it is more painful to heal.

will it ever be over?
i know it is not right
will i always be afraid?
i can’t see my future being any bit bright.

i dont know how
its so hard to think
maybe it is all just a dream,
please, i do not want to blink


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