Decapitated Christ

Self Infliction

Copyright, Decapitated Christ

I can’t die
no one will let me
but i still try
i’m trying as hard as i can
the freak everyone told me i am,
needs to go away

those people say they care for me
they say they want me to feel happy
all of that is such bull shit
they can’t understand it’s a feeling
i fucking hate those people
all of my friends
make the feeling even stronger

i don’t want to fucking talk to you about any of this shit!
they’re ignorant to human emotion
and they’re complete fucking idiots

they try to help by bringing up my past
i’m gay
i’ve been raped vioilently 3 times in the past year
i trusted that fucking cunt
she promised me she’d never tell

i didn’t even tell her about the third time

a week later everyone knew

the feeling was there before
but you made it stronger
it made it stronger

i fucking hate myself

the only way i can stop this pain
the only way i can feel happy
the only way i can feel other than pain
is if i die
if i die a horrible, painful, bloody death

if they loved me,
they’d let me die

i hate you!

it’s your fault!

you made me feel even more shit you conceded bitch

you’re selfish for keeping me here

dragging me through the pain

keeping me from feeling anything other than hate & pain

i hope you fucking die with me


Copyright, Decapitated Christ

i hate this all
i’m so tired of it
this feeling of hate
the pain
no one
can make it go away
when i carve into my flesh
i can feel my releace
but everyone looks at me like a freak
i just want to die

the pain inside me is uncomprehendable
no one can even…
drugs make it worse
confining me even more
the doctors make it worse
making me feel like a freak

everything is shit
no one can fucking see
the only way i can escape this
the only way i can be happy
is if i kill myself

i can’t die
a fucking omen
2 guns jammed
impalement with a screwdriver
endless mutilation
‘pick a number between 300 and 400’

but i’m still alive… why?

if any of them loved me,
they would be happy for me when i die

i’ll finally be happy


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