Copyright, Drusilla

A forgotten melody starts to play
And something stirs deep down inside
Unravelling the secrets
That I’ve tried so hard to hide

I know this song meant something
At some point in my past
I don’t remember what or when
Just that it didn’t last

A picture of him fills my mind
I try to block it out
I don’t want to remember
What that song was all about

He was nearly twice my age
It was an impossible dream
Not mentioning his girlfriend
Like the cat that got the cream

But still I let him under my skin
Dazzled by his charm
I didn’t know his influence
Was soon to cause me harm

Because, of course, it couldn’t last
We had to say goodbye
Soon 6000 miles would be between us
We both began to cry

He swore that he would keep in touch
He sounded like he cared
About this special friendship
That the two of us had shared

I watched the winter turn to spring
I watched the trees turn green
But the messages I had from him
Were few and far between

By then I knew what I must do
To save myself from pain
I must give up and try to
Never think of him again

I thought I had my closure
I know now I was wrong
I didn’t realise I’d be triggered
By a special song

It was one we’d both treasured
In our short but blissful weeks
And to hear it again
Brought tears running down my cheeks

Before I knew what I was doing
The blade was in my hand
I cut to forget Ian
In that far off distant land

The cuts made me feel better
And so I cut some more
I counted them, and, like his age
There were 24

I felt my stomach heave
As I watched my blood flow down the sink
And wondered, if he could see me now,
What would Ian think?

Make It All Better

Copyright, Drusilla

I only want to help
I can see you’re in pain
Frustrated, helpless
I feel useless
I’ve got scars
But you needn’t
You’re better than that
You’re worth more
I know I’m a hypocrite
All I want to do is bleed
Bleed enough for the both of us
Hurt enough for the both of us
Cry enough for the both of us
Make it all better…
Why can’t I make it all better?


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