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Jennell

Copyright, Jennell

I grab the knife
Walk into the bathroom
Pull my sleeves up
Look in the mirror and watch tears stream down my face
I put the knife’s tip on my arm, press down, and cut
I can see the blood slowly coming
I ask myself why
Its your fault, your yelling and screaming
I keep cutting, I can’t stop
Each cut is a feeling of relief and happieness
Instead of crying, I’am now smiling with satisfaction
I wash the blood off of my arm, put my sleeves down and go to bed
The next morning I wake up to an arm full of cuts and dried blood
I can see the effort in each cut, each one has a story
I think of a lie for my parents if they ask
What will my friends think?
Will they be mad or worried?
If you didn’t yell at me this wouldn’t happen!
You made me feel stupid, like I was nothing
Now I have to keep a terrible secret, because of you
Its your fault

I Wish

Copyright, Jennell

Sometimes I wish
That it would all go away
That my life would end
Because no one understands, how I feel
I cut my wrists, that I know can’t go on forever
Lately I have found myself crying in the middle of the night over nothing
Lately I have thought of ways to make my whole world stop
Most of the time I just want to runaway, othertimes I think of how I could kill myself
My friends don’t understand me
They think I’am crazy
One person tries to understand
He listens, but he can’t relate to how I’am feeling
So I keep my feelings inside and spend my days listening to music
Thinking how much better things would be if I was gone
I think of how my world is falling apart
I want this to end
I just wish it would all go away

 

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