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Amanda C

Mommy Poem #1

Copyright, Amanda C

Mommy is a blank screen
Heaven is alie
Daddy’s watching pornos
My hands don’t know to try

I stole a pretty black dress
It was just my size
Mommy says to tell the truth
but sister always lies

Daddy touches mommy
Mommy looks away
I broke my favorite baby doll
because she wouldn’t pray

Hell is just an empty space
and heaven’s a safety net
If jesus takes away all my sins
who cares if I fuck up?

Mommy is a blank screen
Heaven is a lie
Daddy’s watching pornos
My hands don’t know to try

Love Poem

Copyright, Amanda C

Your love is like a paper cut
with lemon juice poured on it
Your smile is like an angry fist
slamming into my gut
You are content to leave me hanging
untill I rot from the nuse
and then you cry your tears of regret
of sorrow and forgiveness
But it’s to late for that you fuck!
because I pulled the trigger
Not you!
Not you!

Warning

Copyright, Amanda C

Reaching up me slick and wise
From too many late night touches
I am worn
Reborn in selfless self loathing
I am inhibited jaded
Reflecting wear and tear
Touch me angry touches
Of kindness I am fear and scarce
It is of that I cannot offer
So be not wise to long tender touches
For then they no longer come

Stopping

Copyright, Amanda C

I reached into my pocket
And pulled out my razor.
Then put it in the trash can
And walked away.
But I never get far enough
To get away from the voices-
in my head-
Like my body begging
Like my throat tightening
“Stop it-Stop it!”
But I can’t!
So I have to shut it up!
Make my body be still!
Make my throat breathe!
But the razors not in my pocket!
It’s in the trash can!
It’s in- the- fucking-trash- can!
But I can’t walk over there!
I can’t!
My feet are to heavy!
To heavy!

Untitled

Copyright, Amanda C

By memories blade
And sorrows flesh
I am bound to the past
When my bones are dust
My soul will remember
What had past when I was living

Untitled

Copyright, Amanda C

I am likings bitter sweet spitting sour
Like controlled anger breaking into violent flame
And I am aware of consciousness screaming fear
But I can’t stand still in human traffic
Can’t breathe in sorrows confinement
So like pitys vicious ego I remain jaded
Like cowerdess baiting dreams
Saying “that’s not reality”
I am transfixed in dreams ashes.

 

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