Amber R

You Know Who You Are

Copyright, Amber R

I have come to take my place as a sacrifice
No more of me and my half assed advice
Today I try to take my lead
Why have I never tried to believe?
Maybe that was my fault once again
Sure I am gone but I will try to live again
Living was what I once loathed and hated
Why am I so desperate to live again in this world so demented
Dieing was what I once thought was the ultimate peace of mind
But yet I have lost the love I so stupidly left behind
Besides my ideas of trying to love and keep
I still need to learn how to sleep
Restless nights of tossing and turning
When will I stop all this and turn to learning
Decide what I must nothing ever seems to have hope in me
What do they all want from me?
I turn to the next idea then cross it out
Knowing what ever I try I still have doubt
My judgment is still foggy
Even in the eyes of someone else
I keep my feelings inside and bite my lip
I shall never tell my true feelings in case of my friends deserting me to a cliff
Jumping off would be the easy way
But I still would rather run away
To be alone with my rusty blade
And cut away at the skin that has never met my aid
People support me in my misery
Nothing has ever been necessary
Why must I stick to this all, when I want nothing but to be alone
I have come from a broken home
So have many of you as well
I am not as strong as you nothing gives me the will as well
The will to what you ask
I tell you and give you a very simple task
Hang me from this nothing face tree
Make me hold my last breath and don’t give me time to shriek
You are of the truest friend ever
Thank you… do not follow in my footsteps as others have tried
Goodbye… I say one last time, look at you then the dark cloudy sky…

Unblinking Eyes

Copyright, Amber R

Unblinking eyes stare at the skies
What happened to me all around i decive
Nothing more to cope with
There is no more hope left
Why must it be this way?
Oh, I wish to run away…
When will all cease to exist?
Does My character even want this?
Which way do I turn?
I have never learned to earn…
Until I can stand this earthy ground
When will I make amends with the unfound
What do you all want from me?
When will this all go away from me?
Do all my dreams mean shit?
Why can’t I ever take the hardest hit?
Do all these people make nothing of their lives?
Just sitting there telling more and more lies…
Will I become lost and destroyed like the rest of the fools…
Or will I fight till the end of my minds duel?
Will I one day get through this all in a rush
Or will I realize how all of this came about through broken trust?
Why does my mind tourcher me?
Why does it all find me chronologically
Never sleeping so sound and still
I can’t even find the will
Nothing it seems has a thought to care
It all happens in this lifelike nightmare
Never to see the end
I always seem to wake up sweating within
Its time to face the facts
Never to be seen without the meaningless act
I take my pills in bitter distaste
When will I be out of this state?
Mending the wounds I have tried
Why can’t I just learn how to live in a divine state of mind?
Does all this mean i have nothing left to give because I left it all behind?
Why must it be all brought back to mind?
Through my unblinking eyes everything has turned to dust
And there is now no one I trust
Through My unblinking eyes I have seen
Everything as it is throught this tourcherous scene…


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