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Extreme Relaxation

Copyright, Anonymous

Do you know what i do?
take a razor to my chest
slowly cutting through my flesh
in hopes of feeling better.

It starts with depression
sadness, anxiety, tension
it ends with blood
and extreme relaxation.


Copyright, Anonymous

her arms
her eyes
full of tears
full of sadness
crying for help
but “no”
“i’m fine”
“i don’t need anything”
that’s what she says.
you look at her,
her arms
and know she isn’t fine
but “okay” you say
and pretend to believe her lie


Copyright, Anonymous (17 year old female)

When I cut, it means I cannot deal,
it is my feelings coming out trying to heal.

As the blood runs down my arm,
I ask myself will it leave a big scar?

Painful days, even more painful nights,
Do I have the strength to put up another fight?

As the razor slides across my skin, I look
up to the sky and ask God to forgive me for
what I just did.

Well I’m done, and its time to clean up,
I look down at my arm, its a horrible cut.

Now I have to hide it, cuz if I don’t
the world will see, all the pain I go
through… and the real me.

My Road to Happiness

Copyright, Anonymous

Deeper and deeper
the cuts do grow
Faster and faster
the blood does flow.

Oh what a bitch,
that one’ll need a stitch.
How will I explain all of this?
Have I fallen too far into the abyss?

The blood is still dripping,
a puddle has formed.
I need to get out
or I’ll surely be stormed.

I paint my chest crimson
with a bloody red rag.
I beat myself blue
with a belt and a nag.

My knuckles are bruised
from punching the walls
but then, with a knife
in my hand, someone calls.

But that murmur is only
a voice in my head
telling me stop
or soon you’ll be dead.

And then a soft whimper,
a tear down my cheek
My face is all wet
from the water I leak.

Then soft, sweet serenity
I feel in my bones
A feeling of happiness,
then start the moans.

I could end it now
but the blood would stop bleeding
And then who would take over
when my joyfulness needs feeding?

So for now I just sit
and relish this feeling
with a smile on my face
and my eyes on the ceiling.

Tomorrow I might
finish the deed
but for the time being,
I sit here and bleed.

Not as Painful

Copyright, Anonymous

I see myself as a mistake
I like to laugh
only wish it was always honest
I bleed a crimson red constantly
I am not alone
but always lonely
I am afraid to trust
I have been hurt
and now hurt myself
only its not as painful

The Pillow

Copyright, Anonymous

The girl’s salty wet tears stain the pure white pillow below her
She feels utterly alone, cast aside, forgotten and afraid
The pillow turns grey while the tears do not show any signs of ceasing
The sobs continue, uncontrollably and forcibly
She is estranged by doubt, surrounded by criticism
The constant shouts have made her deaf
Her worries and seperate emotions fighting a constant battle, have left her numb
Her hands have become bloody and worn by the repetitive act of reaching out… only to be slapped back down
The rest of her body aches of gloomy days and sleepless nights
Her head throbs and she can not find the time to breath between the heart-wrenching tears
She glances once more at the pillow again
Which has not become hopelessly black.

Pixie Cutter

Copyright, Anonymous

She cuts her arms in fits of despair
Hiding in the darkness wishing to reach out
I view her wretched body, wanting to shout
She doesn’t see me or how much I care
Her body dove white, red tainting fair.

Terrified I watch her with eyes turning wet
yet grossly consumed by this freakish behavior
She looks upon me as though I’m her savior
Saying she’s fine, I can’t help but fret
Remembering the scars from the first time we met.

Why can’t she see that this isn’t the way?
The screws dig yet deeper in the flesh of her skin.
Blood leaks out everywhere, expunging all sin.
Still I sit speechless, unsure what to say
I sense a strange debt that she feels she must pay.

Finally she stops and stews in her shame,
calmly cleaning the life-force that’s dripped on the floor
barely managing to stand as she leans on the door.
Compared to earlier, she now seems to tame
Foolishly I wonder if it was all just a game.

Deep down inside though I know that’s not true
Never before has she looked so small and frail…
I want to say something but her skin is so pale.
No words will come for her eyes are so blue
Searching my own for some sort of clue

Acceptance or otherwise she won’t find in me
I make sure instead she sees nothing but love
along with a smile from heaven above
She answers my warmth as though it was key,
Giving a grin as she’s finally set free.

My Special Friend

Copyright, Anonymous

I walked away
From my body today
I saw, I cared
But no attention did I pay
I locked myself in
The bars all around me
You cant touch me here
Darkness is all I can see
You’ve found me
“Close your eyes” you said
That’s at the point
When my whole world bled
You cut my heart open
And buried yourself inside
Everyday it hurts more
But its no use to cry
You harm my body
You destroy my mind
I let you in once
It was your charm that made me blind


Copyright, Anonymous

Straight razors
Make straight cuts
Quivering hands
Make them curve
The blood looks pretty
Against pale skin
The sting of the blade
Makes the beauty disappear
With time
The deep cut
Becomes a harsh scar
On a perfect body

Forgotten me

Copyright, Anonymous

A broken Heart
Forgotten soul
Trapped in a daze
Eyes lost as holes

The observer will watch
From behind the wall of glass
Wondering way
My sanity wont crash

They want to break
This image that I’ve made
The only way to win
Is to die where I lay

The End of the World
The light is fleeing,
The day is retreating.
There must be more to life,
Than this hell I am seeing.

Why must it happen?
Why must the darkness overtake?
How canI go on living,
When it is my death I must make?

Make the world stop turning.
Make my heart stop beating.
This is exactly what I want.
I want to see my life bleeding.

I want understanding,
I want recognition.
I want to stop calling,
Into the darkness of my depression.

No one can see,
No one can hear.
The flames will engulf.
Everything I hold dear.

My feelings don’t matter.
My dreams wont come true.
My insanity won’t end.
Scream is all I seem to do.

My world is coming.
To a brutal end.
My happiness has been taken,
I have no more time to spend.

I am always seeming to fail.
At everything I try.
To succeed would be bittersweet,
It won’t matter after I die.

My life is slipping away.
My sanity is forever at war.
This life is so tiring
This empty body is sore.

They think they know my life.
They think they hold it in there sight.
My life is at jeopardy,
I will die tonight.

I may never be safe.
With these thoughts inside my head.
Every other memory,
Is of a time that I have bled

My Rainbow

Copyright, Anonymous

Watching the ocean in its drowning state is Green
Watching souls fall into the pits of hell is purple
Watching her break your heart is blue
Watching you cry over her and wish to die is gray
Watching you jump from the edge with a rope around your neck is yellow
Watching her cry over her lost love is orange
Watching the blood drip from my wrist until its realized its mine is red
Watching my life die restfully is black
This is my rainbow

I am lost

Copyright, Anonymous

I lost myself
In the darkness of my depression
The world is a haze
The haze lacks emotion

The air is dark.
Its so thick I can’t breathe.
While I sit here alone,
You will think of me and grieve.

I feel like I am falling.
Falling through the darkness that is life.
Nobody can catch me now.
I lost my grasp on the knife.

I am lost.
But, will you think to try and find me?
Are you that blind?
Can you really not see?

You are the only one.
Who cannot see me this way.
But they do not care.
No attention do they pay.

Please try to give me.
The help that I so need.
I don’t want to hurt.
Or watch myself bleed.

I feel like I have been running.
Or climbing that hill,
Please make it stop.
Make the world stand still,

I hope I am found,
Though being lost is not so bad.
What I kind of want,
Is the life that I once had.

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