Is it Me or You?

Copyright, Camilla

Maybe it isn’t me who’s insane
Maybe it’s them
And their lies
That keeps me screaming
That keeps me in darkness
Maybe I see life different than them
Maybe they are the ones who’re wrong
Or maybe it’s just me
Maybe they’re right
I have no faith anymore
In anyone, in myself
No faith at all
What will they say
Whats my diagnonsense?
Am I insane
Or just emotional unstable
I want to know whats wrong with me
Why do I keep cutting?
Why can’t I live without it
Why is it my only way to feel alive
Help me
Don’t help me, I’m OK
Help me
Leave me be, I hate myself
What am I?
Am I real?
Am I anything?
This can’t be me
This isn’t my life

Don’t Show

Copyright, Camilla

Smile! Don’t show!
They’re better off not knowing,
whats going on with me!
They don’t see my eyes!
They don’t see my eyes are darker than ever!
They don’t see me cry every night!
They don’t see the real me!
But remember, SMILE!
Don’t show!
They’re better off not knowing!


Copyright, Camilla

The night is black
The eyes of a cat
Shines in the moonlight
The tears roll down
See her crown
Made of thorns and spikes
Her heart is gold
And yet she’s cold
Nobody wants her


Copyright, Camilla

Don’t you feel like me?
I guess you don’t
Nobody seems to understand me when they see my wounds and scars
I can’t hide them so much anymore
And the cuts get deeper and deeper
The voices inside my head gets louder and louder
They fill my head with their lies
But I believe in them
I fall for them
The things they say sounds so good
And I give in to them
And I cut
The knife soooo sharp
So beautiful, so tempting
The blood fills the wound slowly
Watch it make a perfect drop
Fall down my arm
Down my wrist
No more pain inside for a short time
Only the relief of the blood
And I cut again
To make it all go away


Copyright, Camilla

Through the teary eyes
She sees nothing but hate
She feels nothing but loneliness
She feels everybody left her
Just when she needed them the most
She always need them
She needs to feel loved
But nobody loves her
Nobody needs her
Nobody can feel close to her
She needs to feel close to somebody
But nobody wants her
She is a monster
She is a horrible creature
She is NO ONE
A nobody
A zero
A nothing


Copyright, Camilla

Don’t say nice things about me
I do not believe you anyway
Don’t say I’m pretty
I won’t believe you anyway
Don’t say my eyes are beautiful
You don’t know what’s behind them
Don’t say my eyes are beautiful
Maybe my eyes are just an empty place
Or maybe sadness lies there
Hiding in me
Don’t say I sound sweet
Cus you don’t know what I am
Don’t say you think I’m real sweet
Cus I get embarrassed
And I look at myself and know you’re just lying
Don’t say you think I’m anything
Cus I’m really not anything at all


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