It All Goes Black

Copyright, Crimsonide

I close my eyes and it all goes black,
So black it’s bright,
And I feel like I’m home,
That this is where I should be,
Here engulfed in the darkness,
Lost in a known place,
Thinking of the unthought,
Thinking of being something,
Or someone who isn’t me,
Who isn’t thinking these thoughts up in my head?
Who isn’t seeing the darkness as a place to stay and hide?
Because the world is turning black,
And my memories are flashing back,
Each one so vivid and sharp it cuts,
And I bleed,
Bleed away my pain,
Bleed away the memories of what my life has been,
And what I have seen,
I cut away the memories of my brother crumpling,
My memories of him drinking,
Seeing him alone,
And full of hate,
I watched as my sister turned her back on me,
As my older brother vanished,
And I’m sure they watched me to,
Alone in my dark black room,
Laying on the carpet,
Not moving,
But silently screaming,
Hoping for a escape other than the blade,
But they all walked past,
And so I cut them out,
I cut out their hurt,
Their pain,
I cut out my hurt,
My pain,
And I smiled,

Beauty Stripped

Copyright, Crimsonide

Beauty stripped by the end of a razors tip.
Tears fall,
So softly that they hurt,
Each one stings more than the one before,
Each drop more red than the one before,
And she whispers to herself
This time I’ll stop,
This time I’ll get better,
This time I’ll…

Voice fading into the darkness of the night,
Her promises to herself mean nothing,
She knows that tomorrow will bring a scar,
That everyday is a struggle,
That she’ll carve a new line into her arm,
And fall back into yesterdays eyes,
Yesterday’s cries,
And yesterdays struggle,
Because she’s running full force,
She’s running for her life,
She’s running the distance to the end of her existence


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