Copyright Kitkat

I am bleeding now,
Yet it doesn’t hurt, somehow.
The more the blood is flowing
The quicker the pain is going.
A blade I depend on,
Is covered in what I intend on losing.
The hole in my arm
Matches the whole in my heart
And the loneliness I feel
Is suddenly less than real
Like the more I see of myself
The more I can be myself

I don’t need your help
I don’t want to talk
I don’t find it necessary
To hold ice or walk
I don’t see your problem
It’s my choice what I do
How’s my cutting affecting you?
Mind your own business
And don’t criticize
This is the result of
Many years worth of lies
None can save me
There’s nothing left to save
Why does it bother you?
How I want to behave

But this time is different
I think I cut too deep
The blood will not stop
The womb starts to weep
My head is feeling lighter
And I cannot bear to stand
I wish I had listened
And let them hold my hand
I knew it wasn t a problem
On my life I would have sworn
That everytime something arose
I just needed to be torn.
I know that I’m ok
I know that I’ll survive
Surely I wouldn’t have done it
If I couldn’t stay alive.

Covered with a Smile

Copyright Kitkat

The pain, the hatred
is covered with a smile.
The fear, the disapointment
is covered with a smile.
The drugs, the alcohol
is covered with a smile.
The girl, her life
is gone with a bullet.

I See

Copyright Kitkat

As I look into her eyes
I see she doesn’t care,
she says she does,
but its a lie.

As I look into her eyes
I see sadness,
she says she’s happy,
but it’s a lie.

As I look in to her eyes
I see death,
she says she wants to live,
but its a lie.

As I look into her eyes
I see… nothing.

Trust in a Stranger

Copyright Kitkat

Is it possible to love someone
you’ve never known befor.
Can you trust in a person
you know can’t give you more.
Can your innocence fade away
in a single wasted tear.
Can you still trust
if you’ve lived your life in fear.
Will people still belive in you
if you know that you’ve done wrong.
Is it possible to love again
when you’ve hated for so long.
How can you trust a stranger
when you can’t trust someone you know.


Copyright Kitkat

darkness all around,
nothing to see.
no sounds to be heard,
except the heartbeating within me.
nothing in this room, no window or door,
only the cold, damp cment floor.
no one to talk to,
neglected once again.
nothing to do but wait for my torture to begin.
with no one having a hand to lend,
i shall be here until the end,
in this coffin to which i was lain,
will they ever figure out,
if i was insane…


Copyright Kitkat

i’ve suffocated for the last time
while everyone say’s it’s a sign
a sign of pain and sorrow
what if there is no tommorrow

never seeing what may be
what will become of me?
all i see is horror and fear
dont be ashamed for your tears.

blood stained trees and broken lights
the things that happen in the night.
lifeless bodiess and abandoned kids
this is the punishment for our sins.

Oh God Help Me

Copyright Kitkat

i feel the anger build in my chest
and i know i will no longer be able to rest
wanting to let it out, but it only makes me scream and shout
its been there forever
or so it seems
i scream but no one hears me.
i hit and i pound but no one feels me.
what is happening to me?
why am i like this? no anger no fear
thats hat it used to be.
but now… just look at me…
cutting and burning, turning to drugs…
oh god please… just help me


Copyright Kitkat

why does the grass grow green
why is a rainbow seen
why does the sky show blue
why is it a window you look through
why does this girl cry
why is it she wants to die
why does she cut herself
why is it she has nothing left

She Wonders

Copyright Kitkat

I know a girl who doesn’t know how to handle her life,
she tries to take it day by day and stride by stride,
what would happen if she just let it all end,
if she did, she wonders where she’ll be sent.
would it be heaven or hell?
she wonders and wonders But still cant tell.
she drinks and does drugs,
but all that can be swept under the rugs.
but what would if she did one more shot? or a harder drug?
would anybody notice if she was gone?
at first she thinks no,
but she knows thats not true.


Copyright Kitkat

i sit here as if it doesnt faze me
andthey act like they dont see
open wounds have appeared
from the people who have leered
anger is hard to over come
and right now i want to kill some
nothing in my head but nonsense
and these feelings of hopelessness
the bodies on the floor, filled with gruesomeness
i ask for help from you
but there is nothing you can do


Copyright Kitkat

i feel the pain build in my chest
and i know that it will never rest
the pain and the grief
that i hold beneath
dont let it out
for it will make you scream and shout
dont try to run dont try to hide
for i will find you day or night
i will let it loose
and you my friends are extreamy skrewd
you cant get away… not on this day


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