Copyright, Kitty

Inside my head, hidden very deep
Lies a broken person that I keep.
She’s there to help and to guide me
To be the person who I long to be.
But her voice is lost in the chatter
Of the razor and “What’s the matter?”
People ask, but I don’t ever tell,
They’ll never know about my hell.
I’ve tried to refrain, tried to be good,
But the blade always says I should.
I hate myself with every waking breath.
More often than not I long for death.
My life is great, my friends all care,
I have a boyfriend who’s always there.
They support me and offer a shoulder,
But over time still I grow colder.
I stay away from people for whom I care
And tell lies about scars I bear.
The endless cycle has got to end,
But only when I have one more friend.
To truly love myself is the only way
To find real, lasting happiness one day.

Stop Pretending

Copyright, Kitty

You tell me you love me,
And say that you’re there.
You say you understand me,
And pretend that you care.
You say that you know,
But that too, is pretend.
Are you a friend or foe?
Or worse yet, a faux friend.
The hurt I can’t bear,
Incessant is the pain.
Life’s just not fair,
Happiness I can’t feign.
When feelings too jaded,
To express with diction;
Can only be aided,
With a strange addiction.
To cut is to feel,
To bleed is true bliss.
Losing track of the real,
Perfect scars on my wrists.


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