Copyright, Shana

Who are you?
You’re my friend
I hear it all the time
You’ll be there til the end
Who am I?
I’m your friend
But you have no idea
That my heart is dead
You see me in the light
I hide behind that smile
I’m screaming for your help
Drowning in my denial
If you’d just look behind my eyes
You’d see the pain that breeds
I sometimes let it escape
It comes out when I bleed
But… it never goes away
Not through my blood nor my tears
I have to tell you I’m ok
To alleviate your fears
You think I’m happy
Why can’t you see
My pain is overwhelming
Its an endless suffering
You thought that I’d stopped
I wasn’t like that anymore
If you knew how I am
You’d probably shut the door
Now don’t get me wrong
You’ve been a good friend
It’s just hard for me sometimes
Because you don’t see my pain within
From time to time I tell you
How I hurt myself at night
You give me that look, and ask why?
I change the subject… I’m alright
Then the talk is over
I seem fine, no harm done
The subject matter is unpleasant
Let’s forget about it, just have fun
Because that’s what we do
Life is all a big joke
We laugh and play all day long
At night I long to choke
I’m grateful you’re my friend
I’m happy that you’re here
Although my pain is endless
You make the end seem not so near


Copyright, Shana

No one here understands what its like to hate yourself so much
To see your face in the mirror
And want to cut it up
You hurt yourself in the dark
To hide away the shame
The punishment is a release
A way to take the blame
You’re told that it solves nothing
They all frown and stare
When the fact that hurts the most is
That they don’t really care


Copyright, Shana

Razors, nails, and knives
Dragging across my skin
Makes me feel alive
And releases pain from within
You make think its stupid
You might say its dumb
But you’re not dead inside
So empty, alone, and only feeling numb


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