Why Me?

Copyright, Sonia

She looks up at the ghostly moon,
Watching it be smothered by the clouds.
She knows just how it feels.
After all, she is being smothered,
Smothered by the darkness of this world,
And all it entails.
She feels so alone and afraid,
She is waiting for a second chance,
A second chance to accept someones help.
So many times she has not allowed herself to be free.
Her darkest day was when she cracked,
Having to explain to her friends what was wrong,
When she couldn’t even explain it to herself.
She would force a fake smile,
Just to keep others at bay.
And, when they didn’t,
She would push them away from her.
She would close off her soul and pain to the world.
“Is there anything wrong?”
Was the question that so many asked,
Friends, strangers, teachers.
But she could not tell the truth.
“No, I’m fine.”
Anger and resentment towards herself
Would build up inside.
Why couldn’t she just say “Yes”
After all, it is only one word.
But a word that, to that question, held so much meaning,
It would unlock her secrets,
People would see the problems and hurt that had been buried for years.
Anyway it was too late
The moment had already passed.
Is there anyone for her to go to now?
Time had run out.
The next night,
As she watched the moon being smothered by the clouds,
She decided she couldn’t cope anymore.
And as the thunder roared,
It began to rain…
Rain blood from her wrists.
And, as she lay there silent and still,
With the bloodied knife beside her,
She whispered to the world,
“Why me?”


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