70 Scars 70 Reasons

Copyright, Sharlene

70 reasons for the 70 scars that grace my right arm.

  1. i hate myself
  2. i want to end the pain
  3. i want to forget
  4. i want to escape reality
  5. i am hated
  6. the memories… haunt me…
  7. i cannot go on living this way
  8. i am not perfect
  9. i am not wanted
  10. i am not loved
  11. no one cares
  12. no one notices
  13. i do not hide what i really feel
  14. i cannot be with the person that i love
  15. the person that i love cannot be with me
  16. love has broken my heart
  17. love made me cry
  18. love made me human
  19. love made me real
  20. love desrtroyed me
  21. love me me vulnerable
  22. I love anger
  23. I love depression
  24. i love sadness
  25. i love panic
  26. i love chaos
  27. i love blood
  28. i love cutting
  29. i love fear
  30. i love tears
  31. i love knives
  32. i love razor blades
  33. i love suffering
  34. i love torture
  35. i love pain
  36. i love hopelessness
  37. i love my suicide attempts
  38. i want to die
  39. I cannot learn
  40. i cannot see the light
  41. i cannot be sane
  42. i cannot be happy
  43. i cannot heal
  44. i cannot be strong
  45. i cannot be joyful
  46. i cannot be brave
  47. I am a tormented soul
  48. I am sad
  49. I am morally corrupt
  50. I am a victim
  51. I get bullied
  52. i am afraid to live
  53. i came into this world as a reject
  54. i am doomed to be a failure
  55. the pain comforts me
  56. the memories fade as the blood drips onto the razor
  57. my tree of life is almost dead
  58. i never asked to be born
  59. its what they want
  60. i’m tired of fighting the battle that is life
  61. i am so weak
  62. i take up space
  63. i am useless
  64. life has been so cruel to me when i did nothing to deserve it
  65. love has ripped out my already fragile heart
  66. my one true love denys his love for me
  67. my family has disowned me for succumbing to an “un-pure” love
  68. they wish i was never born
  69. they deny me as their own
  70. death looks more appealing

What are your reasons?


Copyright, Sharlene

If I died today ,would you cry tomorrow?
If I died today would you say that I am better off now?
If I died today would you you say that now I am at peace tomorrow?
If I died today would you tell my parents that you are sorry tomorrow?
If I died today would you go to my funeral tomorrow?
If I died today ,would you miss me tomorrow?
If I died today would you remember me tomorrow?
If I died today,would you swear to never forget me tomorrow?
If I died today would you care tomorrow?
Next week?
Next month?
Next year?
At all?
Didn’t think so.
I would become a fuzzy memory,
locked away
and forgotten as you go on living
and enjoying life as I never could.
Have fun in your life
as I rot in the ground.

Judgement: The Truth About My Scars

Copyright, Sharlene

every time i see my own blood
pouring down my wrists
i think to myself
what have i done?
each time the razor bites into my skin
i realize that i’m killing myself slowly
with every drop of blood lost
there is a teardrop of pain
that dies with it
how dare you judge us?
you know nothing about cutters
or why we do it,
how dare you judge us?
you with your perfect lil life
and you whole
‘cutters aren’t cool man’ attitude
just look outside the box
you have no idea
the self-hate it takes
to slice your own flesh trying
to escape a world full of
judgemental bitches like you,
you cannot perceive
the horrible life it takes
to drive someone to cutting,
you just don’t know…
you never will
you have been blessed
you do not bear this curse
you do not have to end your own life
as i do
to end the pain and suffering
to end the bullying and self-destruction.
this is how i choose to end the pain


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