Copyright, Steph

I Try

Day by day I make my way throughout the memories
It’s ‘carefully’, and ‘killing me’ and ‘now I’m in too deep’
And still I laugh, and still I smile like everything’s okay
And you don’t know, and you don’t care that I am out of faith

I’m sifting through the might have been’s and every now and then
I need some room to look into ‘do you remember when…’
But I am here, and I’m aware how far away I sometimes seem
You don’t know how every night I wish this were a dream

Now you want more than I can be and this I understand
Still, every day I summon up every ounce of strength I can
I live on with my own hell burning louder than your words
And through this all it’s been your voice I’ve more often heard

If you believe you can better me I will gladly let you in
And let you see reality; what a struggle this has been
So for the times I bow my head, and even though I cry
I want for you to realize, every single day, I try

Little Girl

Little girl, what do you bleed for?
Does the answer lie in your pain?
Little girl, what do you need for?
Can you silence the urge in your brain?
Can you stop it before it stains?

‘Cause you’re a cut away from falling to sleep
And can you pull back when you’re in too deep
Or is that your whole world
Can you keep pushing away the memories
Is there another way to find some peace
Can we end this, little girl

Little girl, what does a scar mean?
Is it a tale you couldn’t tell?
Little girl, does loss go unseen?
Is it fanning the flames of your hell?
But do you know I wish you well?

You Owe it to Me

You don’t have to know me to know my desperation
You don’t have to pity me to understand the situation
And I don’t care if you care anymore than all the rest
But you know you owe it to me that I have done my best

I don’t hang my head when I’m lacking your attention
I don’t even miss you in the midst of this aggression
And I don’t care if you wish for me the very depths of hell
But you know you owe it to me that I am doing well

You can choose to hate me or to hate my cruel intentions
I won’t try to coddle you with useless false impressions
And I don’t care if I do things you know you never would
But you know you owe it to me that though I’m bad, I’m good


I’m staring at nothing
At loyalty, at lust, at the depths of crime and pain
Can you stop me? Can you avenge it? Would you try?
I feel blood flowing over my flesh
See a single shade of crimson
Warm and foreboding; Bright and predestined
Look at me
I can meet your gaze
Open wounds pouring out a song of blood lust
Take me home; Go on, destroy me, wreck me
Send me careening through the ground
Bless infection
Bless defection
The blood is on my hands, they’re blessed dirty
Blood is on my head
Go on, wreck me, wash over me
Taste the iron on my tongue
Feel the heat
Lay me down to breathe my last
Thoughts of forever
Relent, reject
Sop up my mess with a robe of purple royalty
Cover the wounds with a rose
Close eyes to how wasted we became
To the pounding in your head, look again
What you see is what’s left of uncertainty, sanity
Vein open for the world to see
Drink it down to purify
Burning in the mind, in the throat in the eyes
Blink back water to mix with pain
Don’t pity the loss, pity the cross
Of someone who bleeds more tears
None of it’s real, I know
Yes, I’m aware
And there is nothing
Blank; Draw a blank
There’s nothing
Nothing real
So bind the wounds to reality
Watch it heal
The blood evaporate
Watch it all come around again
To nothing


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