Thank You…

Copyright, Misdemeanour

Cast your mind back, to that day in year eight,
When you first found about my self-hate.
The day when you saw what I did to myself,
The day that you realised I was somebody else.

I showed you my cuts, i trusted you,
I sat and I told you just how much I’d been through.
I revealed things to you which I swore never to tell,
I was anxious at first, but I thought what the hell?

When I was done, when I’d finished baring my soul,
I sat thinking maybe I wasnt so alone
I wanted you to hug me, tell me you cared
But instead you just sat there in silence and stared.

Just one look of kindess, one caring smile
Then maybe, I thought, you’d stay with me a while.
But instead you just stared with a look of disgust,
Thats when I knew I’d been wrong to trust.

I sat there on the floor, feeling empty inside.
Regretting ever telling you, I knew I should have lied.
My thoughts were all over, I was so confused
I’d put myself on show for you but my trust was abused

Just when I’d given up, I suddenly heard your voice
You only said two words to me, you sounded so annoyed.
‘You’re stupid’ were the two words you said.
Then you just got up and left me there holding my head.

I sat in a cubicle and took out my hair slide
I could hardly breathe, I just cried and cried.
I took the slide and dug it into my wrist
I dragged it down my arm, waiting for the crimson bliss.

I sat for a while, watching it bleed
feeling ashamed at my seemingly constant need
to make myself bleed just to cope with life
I thought i was weak because I couldnt handle strife.

After I cleaned up the wound and calmed myself down,
I took a deep breath and tried to change my frown
I stepped outside the cubicle and faked a happy smile
Feeling that i was slowly dying inside all the while.

I walked into the classroom and all eyes turned to me
The eyes moved towards my covered wrists and i knew you’d betrayed me
You told every person in the class what i had said
I stared at the floor, wishing more than ever that i was dead.

From that day on, I never trusted you
I cut myself in silence, it was the only thing I knew
You made me feel weak by what you said
“You’re stupid”…the words rang out in my head.

I believed what you’d told me for so long,
I cut my wrists more than ever, not realising you were wrong,
So Im saying Thankyou to you, my supposed Best Friend
Thanks for worsening my problems when I all I wanted was an end.


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